August 16

I’m now back in Sleepy Hollow.  Last Wednesday I went to Shakers [Bar] after the program to see Jennifer and when I got back to jail they smelled beer off me and that was it for my parole.

Remanded

I spent four hours in lockup.  The next morning Louis B. came and told me it was all over.  He says he’ll ask that I still be released on Dec. 6 but its’ up to the parole board.  I got high that day for the first time since I came to jail and I liked it.  It doesn’t really matter if I stay clean or not now.  I don’t think I’ll get back to the detox before I get out of jail.  So I’m back in max, in Jim’s unit.  It’s good that I got to talk to him again cause we had some things to work out …

I was going to take Jolene out for the afternoon the day after I got busted but I blew that chance.  Now I’m thinking about writing to Jennifer and asking if she’ll visit but I’m not comfortable about telling her I’m in jail.  I’m not sure what to do.  I sure would like to see her.  It’s too bad I fucked up (again).  I was really getting to like her.

This place is very boring.  I don’t know if I can hack it here for three more months.  But I guess I don’t have much choice.  I might try and get down to Summerside jail but, well, I don’t know.  We’ll see.

I haven’t called home to tell them the news yet.  They’re not going to be impressed.  In the long run it’s better this way but I shouldn’t have fucked up that program.  Someday I’ll complete one of those things, maybe … At least I won’t have to go to aftercare when I get out and I won’t have to give piss tests.  I’ll be free for the first time in two years.  Now if only I can get hooked up with Jennifer …

Letter faxed to Parole Board

Sirs:

After 10 days on day parole to the treatment center in Summerside, I find myself back in jail.  I’d like to explain the situation to you, if it matters.  After the program ended for the day on Wednesday, August 11, I went for a walk downtown.  I encountered a friend whom I had not seen for several years (and she knows nothing of my shady past).  She asked me to come into the bar with her for a drink.  Unfortunately, I agreed.

After having spent nine months in jail, I found the offer of female companionship too tempting to resist.  I was not prepared for this situation.  I made an impulsive decision which had severe repercussions.  I have two small children in Souris who I am anxious to see again, but because of this stupid mistake, it will be months before that happens (their mother and I separated while I was in jail and she does not bring them to see me).  I feel bad that I let down my family, the other group members, the staff of the treatment center, and the members of the parole board, especially Brian Smith, who helped me to get released.  Again, I’ve messed up a good opportunity.  I had thought that my addiction problem was under control, but obviously that isn’t so.  I risked everything for a beer.  That isn’t very wise thinking and it’s the kind of thinking that I must …

Except for this brief incident, I have been clean and sober for nine months and I hope to remain so.  I did not use drugs at any time during the program or afterwards.  The fact that I didn’t use drugs after my discharge (and they were offered to me) indicates to me that I have made some progress.  I will continue to attend AA while in jail and hope to complete a program after my release and get some councilling regarding relapse prevention.  I have been in custody, in one form or another (detox, rehab, jail) since February 01, 1998.  I hope that you will allow my original release date of  Dec. 6, 1999 to remain in place so that I can get the help I need and get on with my life, in a clean and sober and productive way.

August 17

Just another boring day … Jim and I talked about opening a strip club when we get out.  Sounds interesting to me.  I’m glad I met Jim here.  We’re gonna get along alright when this is over.  I saw the list of inmates release dates today and mine is March 11.  I hope to hear from parole that it’s Dec. 6 but I got a bit of a scare when I saw that … I wrote to Barb last night.  Still thinking about writing to Jennifer ….

 
August 19

I moved over to the left unit today.  I like it here, it’s quiet.  There’s just me and Dennis G. here.  I had to move out of my cell in the centre unit because the toilet was broke.  It was really getting to stink in there …  Louis B. was here to see me yesterday.  He thinks it’s likely that I won’t get out till March of next year.  I’ve asked for a panel hearing which will be held on September 8.  I figure that I have a better chance of trying to get out in December if I talk to them in person …

Winston was here to visit yesterday.  He and I and Jim are working on something which could be quite lucrative …

I wrote a letter to Jennifer yesterday.  Now I can only hope she writes back.  I didn’t tell her I’m in jail.  I’ll let her know in my next letter, if there is one, and I hope there is …  Jim went to court yesterday.  He thought he was getting sentenced but it’s been put off till October …

my mother wasn’t in today.  I don’t know if that means she doesn’t know yet or she’s mad at me but I don’t want to call home to find out.  Sooner or later they’ll be in and I’ll still be here.  For now, I’ll just focus on Sept. 8 and after that I’ll only have thirteen more weeks if things go my way.

August 20

This was supposed to be the day I finished the program and went home or to St. Eloanors House … but here I am in jail.  Thirteen weeks left if everything goes well.  It was probably worth coming back just to get things worked out with Jim.  We found out today that his friend in Quebec is a good friend of my friend [i.e dealer] in Montreal.  That’s good news for both of us.  We’re going to do well when we get out.  I look forward to it …

Time is going by well since I moved into the left unit.  Dennis and I have pretty much the same taste in television which is good because I hate watching movies …

Jamie gets out tomorrow.  I’d like to see her sometime after I get out.  I’m hoping that Jolene will be back here in September.  I was getting to know her good in Summerside … I wrote a letter to Bill B. in Summerside today to see if he’d let me go out on a T.A. [travel absence] to Holland College.  I’m doubtful but it doesn’t hurt to ask.  No doubt [Supervisor] will get in the middle and fuck it up even if Bill ok’s it.  I’m feeling confident, though, that I’ll be able to convince the parole board to let me out on Dec. 6 …

I think I’m going to re-write my letter to Jennifer again and tell her I’m in jail and beg her to visit me.  I’ve heard that honesty is the best policy.  I think it’s hard not to have low self esteem in this situation though.  But I am a very likeable guy … if only I had been out for a few more weeks.

[Note:  Draft letter, later revised and send to Jennifer, the girl he met at the Summerside bar]

Dear Jennifer,

Hi! How are you?  How’s life? … You may or may not remember me.  I hope you do.  My name is Reg.  I was at Shakers last Wednesday, and the Thursday before that, having a few beer (Schooner) and talking to you, and I really enjoyed talking to you. You’re a very nice girl – nice personality, extremely cute and intelligent too.  Wowzers!  I would like to drop in and see you again but I can’t for a few months ….

Let me tell you a little about myself ... let’s see …um … I used to live in Charlottetown, where, I owned and operated a wine and beer making supply store called Days of Wine and Beer.  It was a fairly successful business.  A few years ago, I opened a second store in Summerside.  This one was not so successful.  In fact, I had to close it after a year and was left with a debt of $30,000.  The large debt caused a strain on the Charlottetown store.  In an attempt to get out of debt I began selling drugs.  Unfortunately, I got caught and sentenced to 19 months in jail.  And I lost the business too.  And my wife left me.  A string of bad luck, you could say.

So I’ve been in jail for ten months now and I’ll be getting out in December (6th), possibly mid-October.  I was allowed out for a few weeks to take a program at the treatment centre in Summerside.  That’s when I met you. Of course, I wasn’t supposed to be in the bar drinking beer but I like beer and I hadn’t had one in a long time, so I had to take a risk and sneak in for a few.  I enjoyed my two weeks in Summerside and especially enjoyed talking to you, as I said before.  Jail can be a very lonely place.  I don’t have many close friends and since I’m separated from my wife (permanently) I don’t get many visits.  I feel uncomfortable writing this letter to you.  I don’t want to sound desparate but I was hoping that perhaps you would come and visit me.  Visiting days are very lonely days for me because most of the other guys get visits from their wives and girlfriends but I don’t have anybody to come and see me.

Woe is me [he has a sad face in the letter] I’m not your average jailbird.  I have a good education (university and college), I have a diploma in aircraft mechanics (electronics), in fact, I graduated with Honours, top of the class.  I don’t mean to brag,  but hey … I’m a smart guy.  I suspect that I’ll be able to find work at the aerospace center in Slimon [?] Park.

Oh well, perhaps you’re busy and I’ve taken enough of your time.  I’m sure you get asked out fairly often by guys in the bar but I thought I’d take a chance and write to you.  I hope that I’ll hear back from you but if not, it really was nice meeting you.  See ya.  [happy face].

PS  I’ve enclosed a picture so you’ll remember what I look like.

     

August 22

My mother didn’t come to visit today.  I guess she’s probably mad at me but I’m not calling home.  Sooner or later they’ll be in …

Jolene came in yesterday.  She asked me for cigarettes today and I tried to give her a pack but the guards won’t let anything go from one unit to another anymore not even a sealed pack of cigarettes.  I think they should have made an exception, especially in her case because she came in on a Saturday and couldn’t order from the canteen.  But it’s just another example of the bullshit that goes on around this place.  Their mind games never stop …

David S. came in yesterday so we’ve got three in our unit now.  I hope they don’t put any more in.  This is third time David’s been in since I came in.  Same with Jolene and Larry.  Nobody is getting any help in here.  I’m disappointed that the guy from The Guardian in Summerside didn’t do a story on the place.  If he called for information then I expect that I’ll be getting fucked around by [Supervisor], king of arseholes.

… it’s been a fairly long weekend.  I’m glad it’s over.  Seems to be raining a lot lately too, so there’s a lot of days where we don’t get outside, which makes the time even longer.  Some day this will all be over …

August 23

Well this was a pretty good day.  I got the cigarettes to Jolene this morning.  She was happy … One thing that wasn’t good was that I called Motor Vehicles and found out that I will have to take a program, maybe even aftercare to get my license back.  That sucks.  Other than that things are OK.

I went to church tonight and just about everybody was there.  It was almost like being at a party, … but without alcohol … or drugs … or sex … or rock ‘n’ roll … ok, it was church but there was a lot of people there.

Larry told me he’d try and move up to max tomorrow and he’ll do me some favors after he gets out.  John gave me some stamps (for the letter to Jennifer which I re-wrote again tonight).

Jolene didn’t finish the program either.  Maybe if I hadn’t got kicked out, we both would have finished it.  And we both would have been much better off.  She went and stole another car.  So she’ll be in for a while.  She also told me that my mother and father and Steven showed up at the detox the day after I left, for the family thing.  They didn’t know I was kicked out.  I imagine that they’re really pissed off.  I guess I won’t be calling home for a while.  I can’t wait for the day when all this is behind me …

August 26

I got everything worked out with Walter today.  Now I just have to wait and hope for the best …

I got asked by Jason (who, I suppose, was asked by Jodi) to write a letter to Jolene today, and so I did.  I wish I had stayed out long enough to finish the program with her.  I think we would have had some fun …

We got a couple of new guys in our unit yesterday; Frankie A. (who was in Summerside with me) and Dolph T. (who was shot by the cops last week).  Jim D. (who robbed the co-op) is in the right unit.  He says he’s a good friend of George so I might be able to get in touch through him.  I’ve got some things to talk about with George.  I’d like to pay him back what I owe him …

the light in my room has been flickering since yesterday.  It looks like it will take till Monday (this is Thursday) to get it fixed.  Quite the place this is … still no sign of any drugs coming in for us despite several attempts.  You can’t depend on anyone when you’re in a place like this …

Jimmy got news from Quebec that the Rock Machine [motorcycle gang, since taken over by Hells Angels] wants him to open a chapter in Moncton.  And he wants me to be in it with him.  That’s something I will have to put a lot of thought into.  There are (obviously) some things I like about it, but I don’t know if I want to commit myself to living around here.  I had hoped to move to Toronto but this might be too good an opportunity to pass up …

August 27

My mother called this afternoon.  She says Steven was pretty upset.  Too bad I keep fucking things up.  They’re not interested in coming in to the parole hearing, but I think I can handle it myself.  She said that Paul M. will give me one more chance.  It would be great if I could do it in November but there’s not much chance of [Supervisor] letting that happen … I got a written response to my request for the Chronicle Herald today.  It was bullshit.  But that was no surprise.

… The guards found an empty vial in the centre unit so they had all their phone calls, visits and gym taken away.  That’s pretty severe for an empty vial.  I talked to Dave M. this evening and it seems that my money is being collected.  I hope that works out.  At least I’ll have money waiting for me when I get out.  Quite a bit of money if things work out …

[Note:  Draft letter to the Law Society written around this time]

    Dear Sir:

    I am writing to you on behalf of the inmates of the PCC.  We are hoping that perhaps one of your members would be willing to devote some of his or her time to assist us in resolving some legal matters.  I am not referring to anything of a criminal nature but rather to the rights of the inmates.  For example, we are prohibited from bringing in reading materials, even educational or spiritual publications.  Magazines and newspaper subscriptions are prohibited as well.

    Some inmates have also had difficulty in getting temporary abscences for employment, educational or rehabilitative purposes.  It seems that we are expected to just sit around watching television or playing cards and any attempts to better ourselves are actively discouraged as we are, of course, unemployed and the province does not have an Ombudsman to deal with our concerns, we hope that you could be of some assistance.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.

     

August 28

Saturday passed without any problems.  The guys let me have control of the remote and I have almost exclusive use of the soft chair, so I’m fairly comfortable in this unit … [Terrence] snuck in and stole our T.V. guide so I’m giving him a hard time about that.  I’ve got a “Wanted” poster on our window and a couple other signs …

I was talking to Dave M. again.  We’re hoping he will come through with a favor for us tonight.  I also told him to go ahead and talk to Ian for me.  I hope that was a good idea, but I am skeptical.

Tomorrow I might be getting a visit from my parents.  I’m not sure if I want to see them or not.  I don’t need anyone trying to make me feel guilty.  Feeling guilty doesn’t make the time go by any better in here.  It’s best just to forget about what goes on outside and just take things day by day.  Some day it will all be behind me.

 
August 29

Got through another weekend.  Just fourteen weeks left now.  I’m on the home stretch.  I didn’t have any visitors today.  This was a relief because I really didn’t want to see anybody …

Dave didn’t take care of business last night.  That’s disappointing but not really much of a surprise.  You can’t depend on anybody when you’re in here …

We got another guy in our unit today.  It’s just too crowded up here now.  I hope they’ll reopen minimum so they can thin things out a bit …

 
August 30

This was a very good day indeed.  I found out that things went well for W. last weekend.  That makes all this time in jail worthwhile.  Jim and I are go do well when we get out.  And I should have all my debts paid as soon as I get out.  I’m very pleased that we were able to pull this off from the inside …

I called Ian and told them that I would let him work things out with me.  I didn’t have the heart to see him get a beating.  But at least he got the message …

I wrote letters Lawrence MacAuley and Herb Dickinson about the lack of focus on rehabilitation in here.  Perhaps they’ll try to do something about it.

I also wrote a letter to Cadbury complaining about how they reduced the size of the Wonderbar and they thought I wouldn’t notice! Ha.

I was talking to Jolene for a few minutes in church.  I’m writing letters for her to try and help her get a softer sentence.  I hope that she will take my advice.

I talked to Larry too and gave him a personal ad to put in the paper for me.  That should be interesting if I get a bunch of letters coming in.  Tomorrow I might be getting moved to medium.  I like it here but Frankie is driving me nuts talking all the time and I would like to get outside to pick up some packages.

I watched a good program on the Learning Channel tonight about viruses.  I’m really interested in that stuff, but all my interests are stifled in this educational wasteland.

     

Letter to Hon. Lawrence MacAuley, Federal Cabinet Minister (draft)

Dear Mr MacAuley:

I am an inmate of the PCC [Provincial Correctional Center] in Charlottetown, P.E.I.  I have been incarcerated for the past ten months. During this time many issues have arisen that seem to conflict with the centre’s alleged goal of rehabilitation (for example, inmates are prohibited from bringing in reading materials, whether educational or not.  This includes textbooks, spiritual literature such as that published by Alcoholics Anonymous, magazines and even newspapers.  Also, we are subjected to degrading strip searches on an almost daily basis). Unfortunately, we have been unable to find anyone willing to address our concerns with the Provincial Government (and this includes Attorney General Wes McQuaid and P.E.I. does not have an Ombudsman).

I’m unsure whether or not the PCC falls within your jurisdiction, but it would be greatly appreciated if you would provide some advice on having our complaints or concerns dealt with (Is the Correctional Investigation involved with Provincial Institutions?)  Also, please forward a copy of the Correction and Conditional Release Act (if it applies to Provincial Institutions).

Sincerely,

         

 R. MacDonald

         
Letter to Cadbury

Dear Sir:

The new packaging for the Wonderbar is very pretty.  However, the Wonderbar itself is now 10% smaller.  This is very devious on your part.  Do you really think you can pull the wool over the masses of Wonderbar eaters?  We are very disappointed.  Did you really think that the once loyal masses of Wonderbar eaters would be fooled by this chicanery?

The packaging of the Wonderbar is very appealing at first glance, however, a closer look reveals that its weight has been reduced by 10%, from 60g to 54g.  This becomes obvious when the wrapper is opened.  I would say that this is very devious on your part.  Did you really believe that the once-loyal masses of Wonderbar eaters would be fooled by your chicanery.  I think not.  We are gravely disappointed.

 Disgruntled Wonderbar eater.

 
September 2

This week seems to be going fast.  The weather has been good too and that makes a difference.  I haven’t heard anything about going to medium but that’s how things work around here.  Never ending head games …

My mother was here today.  They’re baffled about me screwing up the program,

but dad is going to come in for the parole hearing.  Funny how that is, as it was his name I put down for my advocate.  I’m fairly confident that I’ll be out in December.  It would be great if I could take a program in November but that’s unlikely as long as [Supervisor] is involved.  But three months is not a long time.  I can handle it.

 
September 3

Not much going on today.  It’s the start of another long weekend … I’ve got a cricket in my room and I can’t get rid of him.  He’s really pissing me off.  We sprayed the window three times so far with Off but he’s still chirping …

Yesterday, Jason, Jimmy and [Terrence] tried to take a bath in their showers and flooded the hallway that leads outside …

We had a church concert in the gym tonight.  I was hoping they’d have pop for us but I was disappointed.  I got them to sing “joy, joy, joy” which, I guess, is my song.  I was talking to Jolene and got a letter from her.  She’s pretty friendly to me now, too bad we weren’t out.  I’d like to see her get out around the same time that I do, so we could have a bit of fun …

I think I will try and get to medium next week before I go to that parole hearing.  It would be better if I was in medium next week before I go to that parole hearing.  And John will probably get parole so I’d like to hang out with him till he leaves.  He’s a good guy.  I’ve made a lot of friends in here.  It really hasn’t been that bad.

September 5

So far its been a long boring weekend.  The highlight of my day was reading the Sunday Herald.  Although it’s boring here, I remember being just as bored sitting around the house in Souris.  If I had a choice between between being in jail and spending a winter in Souris … well, I’d have to think long and hard about it.

I’m looking forward to going to medium now just for a change of pace.  As of tomorrow, I’ll have thirteen weeks left, if everything goes well at the parole hearing on Wednesday

 
September 6

The guards brought in 3 newspapers today (a holiday) so I was quite pleased about that.  That kept me busy for a while … I got in touch with Ann this afternoon.  She says she’ll come out to see me on Thursday.  She has some new painkillers that I’d like to try.  I hope she shows up …

Jim and I talked about crime for a while outside.  Everything’s looking good …

I wrote letters to Steven, [Valerie], and [Pauline] today, also to the Nurses Association and to Jolene as well.  I was talking to her in church and she’s thinking that she’ll get time served.  But I think she’s going to be disappointed.  Life is not always “a bed of roses” as the German woman in church said tonight …

 
September 7

I heard tonight that my phone calls are being monitored by order of the Crown!  The fucking bastards will never leave me alone.  I hope this information is used by the Parole Board or I won’t be getting out till March.  That’s what I’m expecting now.  We’ve got a leak or a loose [informant] lint? somewhere … must be careful.  Just when things were looking so good it all gets fucked up.  I’ll be under surveillance from the minute I get out of here …

I thought I’d be moved to medium today.  I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that.  Nothing makes sense around here … tomorrow is when I will find out my release date, at my parole hearing.  Dad is coming in.  Hopefully between the two of us we can talk some sense into them.

September 8 - Application for Parole

Well … I got thoroughly fucked by the Parole Board today.  My parole was revoked so I have to do two-thirds of the remainder which amounts to 6 ½ months.  Louis B. had nothing good to say, and although he knew that Summerside would take me back, but he wouldn’t confirm it because he didn’t have it in writing.

The worst thing was what my father had to say, he essentially said I was hopeless, I kept fucking up and there was nothing they could do for me.  I can’t believe he did this to me.  He chose the worst possible time to feed me to the lions.

Maybe he meant well but he shouldn’t have come in if he wasn’t going to help me get out.  If it was my son in jail, I’d tell them whatever they wanted to hear to get him out. Using addiction as a defense in court is the worst thing I’ve ever done.  I’m going to do 21 of the 24 months.  I could have been out sooner if I’d been sentenced to eight years in the pen …

On the bright side (if there is one), I won’t have to go outside all winter.  And at least for sure, I know when I’m getting out … It’s weird how I feel.  I am disappointed but it doesn’t really bother me that much.  I haven’t lived on my own for so long I don’t remember what it is like.  This is my home...

… John got his parole today, so he’ll be moving on soon … three guys got moved to medium today but not me.  I’m getting fucked around again as usual.  No surprise there.

I asked to be allowed to take a French course a couple weeks ago and I was told it wasn’t possible until I was moved to medium, but they won’t put me in medium!  Quite the place they’ve got here …

Larry it seems hasn’t been home for three days.  I thought I could count on him but I guess that isn’t so.  If nothing else, I’ll learn a lot about human nature and behavior from all the people I’ve met in here …

I called Winston tonight and sounded kinda fucked up.  That’s not good.  Hope he shows up Sunday like I asked him to … Ann says she’ll come in tomorrow.  We’ll see, I guess …

Dad gave me pictures of the kids today.  [Valerie] is beautiful.  I wish I was able to spend time with her.  Even just to get someone to bring her in is such a hassle.  I wish I hadn’t mailed those letters to the kids yet.  I told Steven I was going to be out in twelve weeks.  He’s going to be disappointed.  I wish they’d take them to see me more often.