February 11

More bad luck today.  I think I have some kind of AA curse on me.  Everything was all set and ready to go but the two parties weren’t allowed to meet as they usually are.  Fuck.  On and on it goes.

Neil has a special visit tomorrow but he’s too chickenshit to do it.  Fuck him then – he won’t get any. … the guys all went to court today to set a date for trial.  Its November 6 and they’re going to be kept on remand till then, they are not happy obviously.  I think they fucked themselves by skipping the preliminary [hearing]. …

So, I’ve decided to stop mentioning how much time I have left (27 days).  It was quiet while they were in court, so I wrote letters to Steven, [Valerie], Wayne, [Pauline], Tyler and Jimmy.  These will probably be the last (personal) letters that I have to write …

I took 2 V’s [Valium] this afternoon and I don’t think they do anything for me.  I think I’ll stay away from those things after I get out …

I’m in a minor panic about getting the Blue Rodeo tickets.  Ian says he won’t have money till Tuesday or Wednesday and they’re only held till Wednesday.  I might ask my mother to put some extra money in my canteen and see if I can do it from here.  I can’t let this fuck up. …

And we got some decisions to make about what to do when I get out.  I’d like to go straight out to Souris and see the kids, but I don’t want to be trapped in my parents’ home under their supervision.  I need a couple days of freedom.

February 13

I feel sick again today.  This flu just won’t give up.  My voice is giving out and I can’t sleep well.  It wasn’t a bad day just sitting around talking to the guys, but a few pills would have perked me up.

I’m glad that the weekend is over though. … I was expecting mum to come in but she didn’t show.  I was hoping to get some money from her to cover the Blue Rodeo tickets just in case Ian fucks up.  But Whip said he’ll help me out …

Mark’s friend “old man” is in here and he’s going to do me some favors when I get out, the plans sound good anyway … I wrote a letter to Jodi to try and talk her into going to Stonehenge.  I’d just like to see her get her life on the right track.  She shouldn’t be in this place, and I can see her getting in trouble again if she hooks up with Jason when he gets out.  I’m just trying to help …

Well, I’ve got a couple more opportunities this week to get my package in; eventually its gotta work out.  And I’m a-looking forward to seeing the kids on Saturday.  It should be easier to talk to them, less tension, with [my wife] there instead of my parents.  And it might make Steven feel good to see us all together again.