February 27

Well, what a long fucking weekend this was.  I gotta get outta here … my voice is coming back and I feel a bit better but I can’t sleep during the day and I don’t feel like getting up to do anything … I think I’m depressed – it’s probably related to me getting out soon.  It really has been a long time that I’ve been in here.  Perhaps I am slightly institutionalized …

One thing that really bothers me is that I don’t know whether or not I can get my license back or not.  Also, I’m worried about not having any money.  I gotta get something going soon after I’m out.  It would feel great to have a pocketful of money again.  It’s been so long. …

Neil was kind of cranky today … the abuse Laurie gives him is relentless, usually he takes it pretty good … we all need some good laughs tonight watching t.v. and making fun of disabled people (I guess we’re sick) but at least I was in a good mood when the day ended …

I now have only one more weekend left (there was 20 females in here last night, 13 weekenders (incl. Jodi?) and 7 lock-ups, I’ve never seen it like that before.  I think it might be good for me if I can get a room at McLaughlin’s, coming from an institution, it might help me to adjust better in a place where there’s always people around.  Certainly I wouldn’t want to be looking for an apartment and getting utilities and all that shit hooked up, a motel more suits my needs now.  But I need that fucking license too, hopefully things will fall into place …

Anyway, just 11 days left now.  Monday is usually one of the better days and I got to start making phone calls tomorrow to get things set for when I get out.  I hope I still got a few friends I can count on out there.

February 28

We got [Guard 4] and [Guard 3] working tonight, two of the guards that I think highly of.  They’re both really easy to get along with and don’t really give a fuck about anything … it was another long day (I’m thinking that’s probably just part of the package) but not an eventful day …

Jodi said that Jolene was back in when the girls were going outside this morning.  Jolene didn’t go out but there were 2 other good looking girls out.  The story is that 8 kids, male and female, stabbed a guy Saturday night and beat the shit out of him.  Kids are getting bad these days, we weren’t doing that kind of shit when I was younger …

Bdale got back from the hole (Bubba said he was going to be on America’s Stupidest Criminals – over the phone: “make sure it’s 8 grams dad!”) … this afternoon, I called some motels around town and found that none are really inexpensive.

McLaughlin’s is the most appealing to me ($525) but that’s out of welfares range and I get the feeling that most of these places don’t want to deal with welfare people.  If I find a place away from downtown I’ll just spend more money on cabs.  It’s not easy to get out of jail and have a place waiting for you.  I’m thinking that I might just try to get something for a week and then figure it out from there.  Seems like a shame to be using my own money when welfare should be paying for this.

I also called Audrey M. at DMV.  I was hoping to get an appointment for the day I get out but I can’t get in till the 16th.  She tells me that the car accident involving the 929 is still on my record.  I’m sending a letter to the RCMP insisting that they remove it or be sued.  I can’t understand how they can get away with that shit …

And I also called Ian.  He says he will have $400 – $500 for me the day I get out but I know him to be unreliable so I just can’t bank on that …  We had church tonight.  Most of the girls, including Jolene, didn’t show up.

Troy was out-of-it on pills and made a fucking fool of himself, [Terrence] did the same – both of them got kicked out and later ended up in lock-up.  I hate seeing people stoned on valium, it turns you into an idiot.  I hope that I never get like that (again).  And if you don’t have drugs to share why come and show the less fortunate (like me) how stoned you are, just fuck off and stay in your own unit …

Neil and Lorrie’s lawyer came in this evening and dumped another pile of paperwork on them.  There’s a whole alphabet of rats and I have seen much yet but its mentioned a lot that George is under investigation too.  I would be involved, too, in any mention of George prior to May ’97.  Interesting reading for me, but I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.  If they don’t get off on a technicality, they’re fucked …

… I got 10 days left now, long ones, all of ‘em, I expect.  I have lots of newspapers to read but I can’t get myself interested in reading them.  I think I’m still feeling the after-effects of those 11 pills, that shit is so powerful it scares me.  I can’t become a slave to it again after all I’ve been through these past 2 years. … anyway, … 10 more days …

February 29

Fucking extra day, leap year.  The guys have been going over the new paperwork non stop and they’re all in good spirits today.  What they are looking at now is the info the cops obtained from their “sources” and how it is used to get warrants.  It all looks to be a bunch of guesses and assumptions.  This goes to the root of the investigation and could lead to all the warrants being quashed.  I don’t think the prosecutor expected it to go this far and now it looks like it might fall apart due to sloppy police work.  I can see now that I could easily have beaten  my charge if I had chosen a different lawyer, J. Davis just sets up deals.  I got fucked but it’s too late now …

I put signs on everybodys door identifying ourselves as source R (me), M, N and W.  The cops have listed 23 sources, A-W, and most of its crap.  I really hope they beat this thing and make fools out of the cops.  They deserve to be put in their places.  Bastards.  They’re no good.

… Troy got sent back to Renous this morning.  I’d say he’s feeling pretty stupid right now, fucked it all up over a few pills.  [Terrence], I would say, will finish his bit in segregation.  I don’t think any of the units want him. …

I couldn’t get through to McLaughlins today but I’m going to try and book a room for the 10th and figure it all out after.  Just 9 days left now.  February’s done.  My month has finally come around.  Soon I will be free … yeah …