Written ~ Nov. 28, 1998

Woe is me

Here I am

Confess your sins

Mortal man

Been in treatment

For so long

Never right

Oh so wrong

All these thoughts
In my head

All those things

I never said

 

Sometimes I escape 

But never I’m gone

Something so curious 

The answer unknown
Something mysterious
A need to be shown

Life so curious, mysterious
People I meet friends that I greet

Feelings of doubt
and self pity

Feelings of pain,
Alone in the city

Feelings of love,
feelings of pity

Feelings of pain, 

Alone in the city

So many things
I think I require

Goals I can’t reach

Yet I still desire

Death I greet
like an old friend
Never met


Meet together in the end

Days without end

Years without hope

Endless questions

Endless lies

Never we’ve met

But like an old friend
Differing paths

That meet in the end

Complex and serious

 

Some poems from @ December 28, 1998

Voyeurs of illusion

Eyes wide open can’t you see

This is how its gonna be

Mans fate is mans fate

Life is an illusion

Do you believe in providence, my friend

Peeking out the windows
Hiding behind the door

Synthetic construction, esthetic destruction

Disorganized

Refuse

No need for religion

Fanatic devotion
Unwavering conviction and conflicting emotion

An open perception

Gateway for deception
Fanatic devotion, conflicting emotion

No need for obsession
I don’t need religion

I don’t need your god
All I want is freedom
To think on my own

Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain

Seven deadly sins

Six ways to win

It’s all an illusion

Calculated confusion
Feed us your thoughts

Show us direction

Read us your prayers

We reflect rejection

Examine our feelings

Question our dealings

Tell us your lies

Your deception denies

We deny (your) disguise
Revealed in disguise

Seven deadly sins

Its all an illusion

Six ways to win

(we) calculated confusion
Fanatic devotion

Unwavering convictions

Store bought emotions

I don’t know if you love me
I don’t know if you care

(but when I call your name) 
|
I hope you’ll be there

The hours last forever

The memories can’t last

If I thought you really loved me
I’d never have to cry
So long I’ve been alone

So much I didn’t know

Feelings I can’t share
If you said you didn’t care

I’d hope that it’s a lie
It’s more than I can bear

To have to say goodbye

 

Random Writing:

We’ll give you time
Pay for your crime

Disengage your thoughts

Rearrange your spots

Control of your mind

 

On another sheet:

Like my chances

Spin that wheel

You can’t beat the odds

Thought I’d get away

Thought I’d be alright

Thought I’d beat the odds

Where will we meet in the dead of night

 

On another sheet:

Don’t feed me your poisons

Just leave me alone

Don’t tell me you care

Won’t sell you my soul

I, yeah, I, don’t need you
Look to the future

I can’t forget the past

Memories of childhood

Good things don’t last

Lock me away

{not legible}
unhurt ok.