November 28 (Day 32)

I’m feeling kinda bored today; having thought about moving down to medium. The time might go faster if I had something more to do. I suppose there are more opportunities there to fill up the day. If they ask me to move, I don’t think I would object. Except to eat, I never leave the unit here on most days. It’s too cold to go outside and there is nowhere else to go. Maybe drugs would help the time go by faster. Hmmm … all in all jail can be a boring place and I don’t recommend it. It’s not hard to live here but it’s a waste of my life – so many missed opportunities.

I called Wayne this evening. It’s disappointing that I can’t go out with him for coffee or for a beer. I’ll be very happy when this whole freaking thing is over on June 25, 2000, my 34th birthday. I’m getting extremely drunk and stoned on that day, regardless of what anybody thinks.

The worst thing that may happen as a result of me being jailed is that I may come out of here more determined to make a living selling drugs than I ever was. I have a resentment against the justice system now, so fuck ‘em. When this is over nobody is going to tell me how to live my life … but in the meantime, I must suck up as best I can.

November 29 (Day 33)

Sunday in Sleepy Hollow and its been a long lonely day. I was expecting a visit from Wayne and perhaps my mother but neither one showed up. How quickly we’re forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind, as the saying goes.

Nothing to watch on TV but sports and I’m not interested in sports. I’m getting more and more interested in moving to medium. I’ve heard that there is five empty cells there so maybe tomorrow or sometime this week I’ll be on my way. There’s not much to look forward to in here. Right now, I’m just waiting for December and I’ll wait for January, and then ….

Some asshole in the next unit is banging on the wall and screaming. I wish he would fuck off. I think it’s Tyler, the village idiot. He belongs in jail, but I wish it was some other jail.

I’ll be glad when this whole bullshit jail sentence is over and done with. Why did I have to get into this mess?

November 30 (Day 34)

This has been the longest day I’ve spent in here so far. I hope there’s not more like it, although, no doubt, there will be. It’s time, I hope, for now to get transferred to medium so I can find something to keep myself busy, or at least a little bit more busy than I am now, which is not at all busy.

Leonard was here to see me today. I asked him to come and see me whenever he is at (Moes getting a bit annoyed at me because I keep bumming pens from him. Every pen he gives me is almost out of ink) the jail. Leonard comes out every week to talk to inmates who are into AA. He had some good advice on parole. According to him, I may not have to live in a treatment center, when I get out. That would be a relief ‘cause I’m getting kinda frustrated with the kind of atmosphere there is in those places. I find that it’s negative. A lot of the patients are phony but surprisingly, the staff doesn’t seem to see through them. In some ways, being honest holds you back. This reminds me that I should look up some statistics to find out what the success rate is. Hmmmm …. Perhaps I could ask Jennifer for help in this area. Hmmm … research for the book. Yeah.

I went to church here tonight. That was a big mistake. It reminded me of why I don’t go to church. I don’t mind to hear about how Jesus can save my life. If there was such a loving god, I wouldn’t be in this mess … actually the reason I went was to have a look at the girls in the female unit. This is the only place where the max inmates get to mingle with the others. Apparently, it’s also a good place for passing drugs, but this was not my interest.

I was getting annoyed with one of the new guys in our unit tonight. So, I took a time out card and the feelings passed. Now I’m ok. Actually two of the guys were getting on my nerves. I suppose that’s bound to happen in this place.

Tomorrow, I hope I will get more info about parole and when I’ll be moving to medium. I must also find time to write a letter to Martin Jones and thank him. I am not ungrateful for any help and support I receive. I hope that others are aware of this.

December 1 (Day 35)

December’s here.  Only 24 shopping days till Christmas.  Today, I tried to figure out when I’ll be eligible for parole but nobody I talked to seems to know for sure.  For day parole, you have to have served one sixth of your sentence which for me is four months if it is based on the full 2 year sentence, or 3 ½  months if it is based on the 20 months left when I came in.  If it’s the former then I am already eligible and if it’s the latter, I will be eligible on February 5, regardless of which it is, I will be here for about 3 more months, they say, because it takes that long for the paperwork to get done.  But I would just like to know.  Tomorrow, I will try to speak with [Supervisor] Trainer and hopefully get some answers.

I wrote some letters today (kinda foolish ones) to [my son], [my daughter] and Zeke.  The guards are going to think I’m insane when they read them, that is if they don’t think so already.

I cleaned up my room a bit today so everybody would stop ragging me about it.  I really don’t care how much of a mess it is as long as I can find my bed, but sometimes we have to put up a front, make a good impression.  It didn’t work well though; they’re still saying it’s a mess.

One of the guys, Tommy, got sent to Summerside today to go to court.  It’s more peaceful without him here.  He’s an ok guy but just too young and obnoxious.  Hmmm… Maybe I’m getting cranky in my older age, but hopefully wiser too.

December 2 (Day 36)

Well, it seems that a transfer to medium is imminent.  I was kind of hoping that it would be put off for a week or so, until after my parole papers have been sent in, but both the nurse and the teacher have suggested I move so I believe it will it will be soon.  All of the guys here are asking to be moved to medium or minimum, well except Moe, that is.  He wishes to stay here a while longer.  Moe is a good guy to be doing time with, always in a good mood it seems.  He helped the days go by a little bit faster for me and made them more enjoyable.  And Doug is moving to minimum so our group here will be dissolved.

In a way this is a bit sad, but I will meet new people and have new experiences and that is what life is all about.  We move on to another stage.  Hopefully, I will have more to do, or at least more options, and the time will pass quickly towards my release date, whenever that is.  I hope to get some insight into that tomorrow or surely by Friday.

Tomorrow is visiting day and I wonder if anyone will come to see me, although I am not expecting any visitors, but I have not spoken with anyone outside of here since Friday, so it is a possibility.  Hmmm ….