May 1

Another dull day.  Another fucking month to go.  I guess it was pretty hot out today (25C) but I didn’t go out.  I don’t want to see what I’m missing.

Funny, but two days ago it was snowing, a storm really.  The power was out here.  It was just me and Tyler, but another guy came in this evening, Rueben.  No Scrabble today, just sleep and watching tv.

I called home to tell them I’ll be another month, but they knew that anyway.  They say [my wife] has calmed down, “come down off her high horse”.  I think it’s agreed that we will talk it out.  My father has said that he advised Lawrence MacAulay’s staff that we sent a letter so perhaps I will see some action there. He also plans to talk to him about this place.  They’re not going to forget about me around here for a while …

I really wish I was home now.  This place is getting to me.  I’m going to ask for a TA for family problems but I expect it will be refused.  There is no compassion in this place. It’s a very cold negative environment.

Wrote a letter to [my wife] last night which I will fix up tomorrow and send.  Im trying to make peace with her and make her feel guilty at the same time.  I think our problems could have been worked out if only we had talked about them …

May 2

Today is a first for me.  I went outside wearing shorts (I have nice legs for a guy).  I guess I’ve overcome that fear.  I’m going to emerge from this a new man … everything’s all right in our unit except maybe that we’re watching too many movies.  I hate watching movies on tv. 

This new guy, Reuben is alright now that I’ve adjusted to him.  Might even be a source of Demerol.  I might be speaking with him when he gets out.  He’s involved in coke quite heavily too.  Got me thinking about the money again.  Would be nice to go away with some …

May 3

Cleaned up my room today (#666).  That’s a major achievement for me.  It was an awful mess, but the guards don’t bother me about it anymore.  Maybe they do understand me.  It was nice out again today, so I went out. I’m going to get a tan this year, first time since I was a kid.  I may even take my shirt off …

Tyler didn’t get his drugs, so he was disappointed.  Looks like the Demerol are all gone so I am disappointed too.  But I should have some connections when I get out of here.  Went to church again tonight.  It was kinda boring but the only time we get together with the other units.  It’s nice to get out of the unit for an hour too.  Of course, I’d never go to church if I wasn’t in jail …

I’ve had a sore stomach and back a bit lately.  I don’t know what’s causing this.  I’d get better if I eat but I don’t really think it’s caused by hunger alone.  The nurse gave me some Maalox. So I’ll see if that works.  It seems like she doesn’t want me to have Gravol.  She thinks I might be trying to get high.  I think her husband should hit her a little harder, knock some sense into the bitch …

The guards are letting us stay up late tonight to watch “The Rock”, which is unusual, especially with [Guard 3] working … Finally got to the library this evening, after them putting us off all last week.  I put in a complaint which I worded to be rude cause I was pissed off yesterday.  Joe took me aside this morning and said that kind of thing makes enemies.  I don’t care about making enemies, but I told him to throw out the complaint anyway.  Lorrie joked that he “hoped I’d give them a good report” if he took us there.  I think they all now know that I’m quite capable of causing trouble if they piss me off …

I think I’m going to stay here in max until Tyler goes on the 20th.  We get along pretty good so why not.

May 4

I went outside again and even had my shirt off – another first.  I probably haven’t done that in over 20 years.  I should have a nice tan when I get out of here.  I hope to go to the gym in Summerside too and work off my fat.  I’ll be a very handsome guy.

… still no drugs for Tyler, he’s not happy.  Everything keeps falling through for him … I beat him good in Scrabble a couple of times today …

Richard got out today.  He left me his number so I can call him in Toronto. … I heard today that John B. took a month off.  He must be in the Detox.  I’ll be pissed off if I found out he took my spot in Summerside.  Anything’s possible with these bastards around here.  He should have went while Susan was still here.  There won’t be any access to the computers for a month now.  What a fucked up place this is.  Twenty six more days, well maybe a few less.

May 5

I was sick this morning.  My stomach is bothering me a lot lately.  At least [the Nurse] finally gave in today and said she’ll let me see the doctor, after a month of complaining … 

Rueben went to court today and got remanded so he’ll be with us for a while.  I guess that’s ok.  Another fellow came in too, Steven R. …

Tyler’s getting some pills tomorrow so I’m a-hoping I’ll get a piss test tomorrow morning.  Its been a while.  Really not much happened today, it was just another day.