April 7

Today I find myself back in max, via the hole.  Last night, most of our unit had decided we didn’t want the pedophile in our unit.  Larry was the first to complain this morning.  Elsie told him he was going to medium, but Stacey talked him out of it and talked Elsie into letting him stay and then it was my turn.  I told her I didn’t want him there.  She said, “well, you can go back to lockup if you want”, I took this as a threat, so I said ok.  I’m not going to let anyone intimidate me.  Stacey was disappointed and offered to intervene, but I didn’t want him to.  I’m hoping that this will get them even more pissed off at the fag.  That piece of shit should do his whole sentence in lockup, but no, he gets special treatment, even comes in with a new pair of sneakers (Stacy’s been trying to get his for 2 weeks now).  So, I spent the afternoon in lockup and then, I got sent to max.  Vern seemed to be kind of annoyed when I got here and wouldn’t put me in Tyler’s unit.

So, I’m back in the centre unit with two guys from Souris who I never heard of before.  So far, I like it here.  It is so much quieter.  It’s like a vacation.  The guards don’t bother you here.  What I don’t like is that all of the old gang is in medium now.  Elsie told me they won’t take me in medium but from here I might have a better chance.  I’ll be very pleased if I can get there from here [this is a tongue-in-cheek reference to an REM song, I believe].  Another problem is that I might not be able to finish the Anger Management course from here in March or work on the computers.  That I will find out tomorrow. 

Anyway, I’m not unhappy about being here, but I did like hanging around with Larry.  I was hoping that we’d be able to go to medium.  I have his phone number anyway so I can get hold of him after I get out.  I don’t think my being sent here will have any effect on my parole.  Although it might not look good if I don’t finish the Anger Management course.  But that’s out of my control now.  Whatever comes next, I shall remain an optimist.

April 8

I found out today that the reason [my wife] was coming in Sunday was to tell me that she has filed for a Legal Separation.  Apparently she has been working on this since February but kept it a secret.  What a gutless bitch.  I’m neither surprised not disappointed.  I’m actually feeling relieved.  I knew that it was all over.  It probably could have been worked out if she wanted to talk about it, but I’m glad it turned out this way.  I don’t find her any fun to be with anymore.  She’s only 29 but she seems like a 50 year old woman.  My biggest regret is that I won’t be around to see [my daughter and son] grow up and I suspect that to them she will make me out to be the bad guy.  Anyway, I will leave the place a free man, in every way.

I had a good talk with [Counselor] today, a calm reflectional conversation.  Seems that she considers me a bad influence on the guys in medium so I may not be going back there.  She’s going away for a week, so I guess we’ll discuss it when she gets back.  I have the option of going back to minimum, but I’m not interested.  I made my stand and I can’t back down now.  No turning back.  I’ve asked Leo to move me over to Tylers unit, but he doesn’t want to.  I’ll have to try again tomorrow.  I must also see if I can arrange a special visit for [my wife].

April 9

Tried to get moved to Tylers unit today but it seems that they don’t want me and Tyler together.  I’m not wanted in too many places in this jail.  Good thing I’m getting out soon.  Brian S. told me today that we’re still aiming for the first of May.  So that’s good but I hope [my wife] doesn’t say anything bad about me.  I’m still disturbed by how she was going to let the Legal papers arrive without telling me in advance.  What have I done to deserve that sort of treatment?  How can she be so cold hearted?

I was allowed to go to Anger Management today.  I like these sessions – glad that I am allowed to finish it.

Last night I hardly slept at all.  I was really sick – sore back, sore stomach.  I felt like I was coming off heroin again.  I talked to Jennifer about it tonight.  I couldn’t get any extra pills out of her but she’s nice to talk to.  She’s so nice.  I like her.  She and I would make cute babies.  I think it’s some sort of stomach flu that I have.  I’m hoping that it will be gone tomorrow.

I noticed today that they’ve got the library all torn apart to put in the new shelves.  [Supervisor] told me that I may still be able to help out.  I’d really enjoy that.  The staff might start bringing in their used books now that they see something going on in there.

I’m not really pleased with the company in this unit.  John’s ok, but then the other two, I believe, are pinheads.  But at least they’re South Park watching pinheads … One of them watches “The Waltons” every night – fucking farm boy.  Well, the gravol seems to have taken my pain away so now I shall go to bed.