January 25

Things are getting a little better.  I think we found an alternative way to get my package in.  I’m fairly sure now that Mark and Debra L. are full of shit.  I was wasting my time trying to get them to do something.  Oh well, live and learn …

Last night I was up till 4 am again.  I’m anxious to see the doctor again tomorrow.  He’s probably sick of seeing me but if he just gave me something good everything would be alright.  I’ve been giving my blue pills (immovane) to the other guys, and they work great for them, but they keep me up all night, funny how that is.  I’m feeling tired now though, I guess because I didn’t take a nap this evening … [Guard 3] told me he got a coupon in the mail for a free bag of dogfood.  I wrote a letter for him in exchange for this; I hope to get him to buy me a Montreal Gazette.

January 26

It wasn’t too bad of a day.  We had pancakes for breakfast.  That’s the only breakfast I like and the only one that I eat.  And I found out that I lost another 2 pounds when I weighed myself at the doctor’s office (186).  The doctor himself was a prick, wouldn’t give me anything else.  I never had much respect for that doctor, and I have even less now …

All the guards were nagging at me to clean up my room this morning, especially [Guard 2].  [Guard 2] also woke me up to show me a memo from [Counselor] that states that we can’t wear bracelets.  I’m losing my respect for [Guard 2].  He seems fairly easy going but he likes the power …

The French girl was here to help me out today.  She says my understanding is pretty good, but it seems to me I have a long way to go yet even just to carry on a conversation.  I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to keep it up on the outside. It would be nice if I could find a good looking female trainer.  Ooh-la-la …

Tomorrow, if all goes well, I get the long awaited package, oh please.  And as of tomorrow, I’ve only got 6 weeks left, 42 days, 126 meals.  26 meals away from breaking the 100 meal barrier.

January 27

Another fuck-up today.  The girl who was supposed to call Ian, but she says there was no answer at Staples (???), it just never stops.  But there might be another chance next week although that ruins this weekend …

I got to sleep fairly early last night – 1:30 and I only took a small nap this evening so I should get a good sleep tonight.  I guess they’re going to be bugging me tomorrow morning about cleaning up the place ([Guard 2]’s been nagging me all day – I’m losing my respect for him) because [Counselor] and [Supervisor] are supposed to come and take a look around – probably just looking for an excuse to put me in the hole, fuck them. …

No visits today and I didn’t want any so that was good.  And somebody gave me two V’s so that was ok, although not enough. …

Whips going to court tomorrow.  I hope it turns out ok, but really, I think he’s fucked. …

I’d like to get my I.Q. test started with Sandy tomorrow.  I’m getting a little pissed about how it keeps getting put off.  I had hoped to have it finished by Christmas and it’s now almost February.

Soon I’m going to have to start looking for a place to stay when I get out. There’s only four more days in January and Feb. is my last full month.  I’ve gotta try and get my license back too.  Yeah, there’s much to do in my last six weeks.