Reggie MacDonald — A Life Remembered

Understanding the Pills in Reggie’s Jail Diary

Jail Diary — In Reggie's Own Words, 1998–2000

Understanding the Pills in Reggie’s Jail Diary

Readers of Reggie’s Jail Diary will encounter a surprising number of references to pills—sometimes by brand name, sometimes by abbreviations or slang, and occasionally with spellings that are difficult to identify.

Some were medications prescribed to Reggie. Others were obtained from inmates or through the illicit drug trade. A drug appearing in the diary does not necessarily mean that Reggie abused it.

This page provides a brief guide to the names that appear most often so readers don’t have to stop repeatedly to figure out what Reggie was talking about.

Opioids

Heroin, Dilaudid, OxyContin, Percocet, Demerol, morphine and codeine

These drugs all belong to the opioid family, although they differ considerably in their formulation and effects. For someone physically dependent on heroin, another opioid could also temporarily suppress some symptoms of withdrawal. This helps explain why several different opioids appear in Reggie’s diary. Pasted markdown

Reggie sometimes abbreviated their names or used slang. Percocet, for example, could appear as “perks” or “P’s,” while he usually spelled OxyContin “Oxycontone.” Pasted markdown Pasted markdown

Benzodiazepines

Valium, Serax and Xanax

These medications have legitimate medical uses, including the treatment of anxiety, but they can also cause sedation and dependence. Their appearance in the diary is particularly important because combining benzodiazepines with opioids can be dangerous. Pasted markdown

Context matters. Serax, for example, was at one point prescribed to Reggie. After the jail doctor discontinued it, he subsequently obtained a non-prescribed supply inside the jail, sometimes referring to the pills simply as “S’s.” Pasted markdown

Barbiturates

Phenobarbital, Fiorinal and Seconal

These drugs also appear in Reggie’s writings. Phenobarbital is mentioned several times, while Fiorinal contains the barbiturate butalbital. Seconal is another barbiturate mentioned in the diary. Pasted markdown

As elsewhere in the diary, the circumstances surrounding a reference are important. A drug being mentioned does not necessarily establish that Reggie took or abused it.

Prescribed Medications

Paxil, Buspar, sertraline, Atarax, Inderal, amitriptyline, Imovane and Dalmane

A number of medications appear as part of Reggie’s medical treatment, particularly for anxiety, depression and persistent problems with sleep. Their presence in his diary should not, by itself, be interpreted as evidence that he was abusing them. Pasted markdown

Reggie’s experiences with these medications varied. Sometimes he believed they helped; at other times he complained about their effects, asked for medications to be stopped or requested that they be started again.

Other Drugs Mentioned

Gravol, Nozinan, Ritalin, Restoril, Talwin and Quaaludes

These appear in a variety of circumstances. Some Reggie records taking, some were obtained from other inmates, and others were merely discussed or anticipated. Talwin and Quaaludes, for example, are mentioned without establishing that Reggie actually used them. Pasted markdown

That distinction is important throughout the Jail Diary: mentioning a drug, wanting it, expecting it, possessing it and actually taking it are not the same thing.

Reading the Diary

The Jail Diary reveals that Reggie’s relationship with drugs was considerably more complicated than heroin addiction alone.

His entries describe prescribed medications, illicit drugs, pills shared among inmates, drugs he wanted but never obtained, pills he possessed but gave away, medications he tried to save but couldn’t, and medications he took as prescribed. Pasted markdown

Reggie also frequently recognized the contradictions himself. He could criticize the effects of a drug while continuing to use it, make plans to stay away from drugs after his release while simultaneously trying to obtain them, and sometimes become frightened by his own inability to control his use. Pasted markdown

The diary therefore gives us something unusual: a record of someone thinking about addiction while he was living through it—not with the clarity of hindsight, but day by day.

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