November 20 (Day 24)

Just another day here. They seem to be getting longer and longer. I gotta get outta this place.

Brenda was at the jail this morning, but she only spoke with Andre and then left. It seems that my case is not one of her priorities. I called twice this afternoon, and she didn’t return the calls. Our Legal Aid system here is inadequate. They get paid the same rate whether they win or lose (well I suppose most lawyers do). But what I mean is that they just want to take a case and get it dealt with as quickly as possible, so it doesn’t seem to matter whether the case one or lost. It’s easier for them if the client pleads guilty. Then they can move on to the next one.

I’m having trouble sleeping here. For the last week or so I’ve been awake for half the night. I’ve asked for something for anxiety, but they won’t give it to me. The health care here is … not great. Although Jennifer is working tonight and it’s always nice to see her. Jennifer and I would make cute babies.

I tried to call Wayne today, but he wasn’t home. I was going to ask him to visit me on Sunday. Perhaps he will call anyway and see if he is on my visitors list.

All of here are getting along well, playing Risk and other games. This helps to pass the time. I think I will keep in touch with them all when I get out.

I can’t get to watch South Park tonight. This is rather disappointing to me. I miss staying up with Steven to watch South Park. Hopefully, next week we will be able to do so. Hopefully, everything will turn out ok. I remain optimistic. If I have no hope, what have I got?

November 21 (Day 25)

It’s Saturday, the weekends here and it’s going by fast. I slept all day. Got up at 4:30 for supper (I thought it was five thirty when I got up. I was kinda disappointed). This should be my last Saturday in this place if things go well on Wednesday in court. No plans for today, nothing to do. Six more hours and it’s lockdown.

I talked to my mother, [my wife], and [my son] on the phone tonight. They are not at all confident that I’ll be able to live on my own if I am released but I have no other option because I can’t go back to Talbot House. Souris is a possible option, but I don’t know if I could handle that. I feel a need to regain my independence. Its’ been ten months now since this all began and I really wish it would end.

I asked my mother to call Wayne N. and tell him he’s on my visitors list for tomorrow. I hope he can make it out to see me. I also asked her to call Pat (Dr. Jones’s friend) and find out what she has to say about me getting treatment as an outpatient.

November 22 (Day 26)

sunday, bloody, sunday. sabbath, bloody, sabbath. Optimistically, my final Sunday in custody. Time moves forward slowly towards my appearance in court where I hope to be able to make the judge see what a nice guy, I really am and win my freedom.

Can’t say that I got a whole lot done today. Of course, I didn’t have a whole lot to do anyway so everything’s ok.

I did a lot of crossword puzzles (Moe had a book of them hidden in his nest). I might be getting addicted to these things.

I went to the AA meeting tonight. It was getting pretty dull and then the guard came in and told me that I had a visitor. Wayne came out to see me. (Jodi was also in the visitors room talking to George). So, Wayne stayed about an hour and talked to me. We made plans to meet at Grabba Jabba (we think that the Grabba Jabba girls must be missing us badly) on Wednesday after court, that is, after I get released. Freedom (although still limited). Wayne’s a good lad and I’m glad he came out. We’re hoping to go to Europe together if we can somehow get the money together. That would be mucho fun indeed.

Alls well in our unit here. All the guys are in good humor. We make a good group: Andre, Doug, Moe and I. If nothing else, I’ve met some interesting people in here. I’ll probably miss these fellas when I leave this place.