December 4

I saw something incredibly stupid today.  Just five minutes before we were to go outside, Jimmy A. (for some reason I just don’t like this guy, just the way he looks and carries himself) tossed a valium (from the left unit) through the hatch to Jason.  Jason missed the catch and the valium hit the floor.  Brendon [the guard] found it.  No doubt we’ll be getting a search soon.  I’m just amazed that anybody can be that dumb.  Calise! …

I think Mark is getting a special visit today I mean tomorrow, so all our worries will be solved.  Although (no surprise here) I haven’t been able to connect with Anne.  I’m thinking that maybe Neville could help me out on this, although I haven’t asked him yet.  It should be easy for him and Rob to hook up since he works in Borden and Rob lives there …

I’m still having trouble sleeping even though my medication has been increased.  I’m going to ask the doctor about getting some sort of barbiturate or sedative hypnotic.  I’m very doubtful that he’ll give it to me but perhaps he’ll counter-offer with something better than I’m getting now.  It’s worth a try.

December 5

I didn’t think this day, this weekend would ever end.  So boring, so very boring.  I think, partly due to the fact that none of the guards brought in newspapers for us to read.  It’s only 75 cents, what’s the big deal?  Cheap bastards …

Jason is on his way to Summerside tomorrow morning.  Hope he brings back some good “news”, Neil might be back tomorrow too.  I’m hoping that I’ll get to do the IQ test tomorrow.  I’m also anxious to know whether or not I’ll get a Christmas pass.  I’d like to be home with the kids for a few days, and I could really use a break from this place.  I’ve finished 81% of my time.  95 days, 285 more meals to go.

December 6

I should have been out today, but for the parole fuck-up.  Instead, I have another 94 days

… Jason left for Summerside today.  Neil came back from Fredericton … Things seemed to go well today.

Donair’s for dinner – one of my favorite meals.  I got to the library to study French for an hour.  Afterwards, I went outside for an hour (it was nice out).  Then I rolled some cigarettes and read the Sunday Herald.  I kept myself busy all afternoon.  After supper, I called Ian and Anne, and I think things are gonna work out alright.  Tonight we had the Christmas Social which I enjoyed.  I drank some pop (Pepsi) and ate lots of candy and ice cream.  Jolene gave me a bracelet

… I spoke to the President of the Church Council and asked her if she could help us get a subscription to the National Post.  She seemed supportive.  But near the end of the evening [Counselor] overheard me talking to Woody’s mom about getting the paper and she flipped out at me.  I think I ruined her evening.  I wrote a letter to [Supervisor] complaining about her behavior, so, hopefully, I will ruin her day tomorrow as well.  I enjoy playing these games with her.  And we had a good laugh about it afterward.  I hope this kind of stuff won’t prevent me from getting a Christmas pass, but I just can’t help myself.  It was priceless to see her lose her temper with everybody around.  I hope she feels stupid for it.  I wonder if I’ll ever hear from [Supervisor].  But at least I can hope to get her pissed off when she reads my letter.

December 7

One day closer to being out.  I find that the time is going quickly now.  The only thing that I’m a bit anxious about is whether or not I’ll get a Christmas pass.  I should be allowed to have one but considering my relationship with [Counselor] and [Supervisor] … well, I don’t know. If I get one, I’ll have to stay straight for Christmas.  If not, I’m gonna be high every day. … but it would means so much to the kids if I came home for Christmas.  I hope they’ll consider that …

I wrote a letter to The Graphic which we hope to get out tomorrow.  They’ll probably run a story since they’re so desperate for news.  That’s something to look forward to.

December 8

Another day has come and gone.  Not much has changed.  I had an awful craving for Valium today, but I put if off by saying to myself, “just for today, I won’t do it”.  I don’t have a lot of hope that I’ll have a Christmas pass but if I could get one, I’d hate to lose it on a dirty piss test.  Anyway, the word around here is that very few Christmas passes will be given out.  Today, they had a max staff meeting at [Guard 3]’s house – wish I had that bugged …

Ian still hasn’t done what I asked him to do, apparently.  What’s the fucking problem today?  I’m so sick of this bullshit.  I hope Lorrie gets out tomorrow and fixes this problem for us.  There’s always some minor miracle to look forward to.