to [the rehab facility] they smelled beer off me and that was it for my parole.

I spent four hours in lockup.  The next morning Louis B. came and told me it was all over.  He says he’ll ask that I still be released on Dec. 6 but its’ up to the parole board.  I got high that day for the first time since I came to jail and I liked it.  It doesn’t really matter if I stay clean or not now.  I don’t think I’ll get back to the detox before I get out of jail.  So, I’m back in max, in Jim’s unit.  It’s good that I got to talk to him again cause we had some things to work out …

I was going to take Jolene out for the afternoon the day after I got busted but I blew that chance.  Now I’m thinking about writing to Jennifer and asking if she’ll visit but I’m not comfortable about telling her I’m in jail.  I’m not sure what to do.  I sure would like to see her.  It’s too bad I fucked up (again).  I was really getting to like her.

This place is very boring.  I don’t know if I can hack it here for three more months.  But I guess I don’t have much choice.  I might try and get down to Summerside jail but, well, I don’t know.  We’ll see.

I haven’t called home to tell them the news yet.  They’re not going to be impressed.  In the long run it’s better this way but I shouldn’t have fucked up that program.  Someday I’ll complete one of those things, maybe … At least I won’t have to go to aftercare when I get out, and I won’t have to give piss tests.  I’ll be free for the first time in two years.  Now if only I can get hooked up with Jennifer …

Letter faxed to Parole Board

Sirs:

After 10 days on day parole to the treatment center in Summerside, I find myself back in jail.  I’d like to explain the situation to you, if it matters.  After the program ended for the day on Wednesday, August 11, I went for a walk downtown.  I encountered a friend whom I had not seen for several years (and she knows nothing of my shady past).  She asked me to come into the bar with her for a drink.  Unfortunately, I agreed.

After having spent nine months in jail, I found the offer of female companionship too tempting to resist.  I was not prepared for this situation.  I made an impulsive decision which had severe repercussions.  I have two small children in Souris who I am anxious to see again, but because of this stupid mistake, it will be months before that happens (their mother and I separated while I was in jail, and she does not bring them to see me).  I feel bad that I let down my family, the other group members, the staff of the treatment center, and the members of the parole board, especially Brian Smith, who helped me to get released.  Again, I’ve messed up a good opportunity.  I had thought that my addiction problem was under control, but obviously that isn’t so.  I risked everything for a beer.  That isn’t very wise thinking and it’s the kind of thinking that I must …

Except for this brief incident, I have been clean and sober for nine months and I hope to remain so.  I did not use drugs at any time during the program or afterwards.  The fact that I didn’t use drugs after my discharge (and they were offered to me) indicates to me that I have made some progress.  I will continue to attend AA while in jail and hope to complete a program after my release and get some counselling regarding relapse prevention.  I have been in custody, in one form or another (detox, rehab, jail) since February 01, 1998.  I hope that you will allow my original release date of Dec. 6, 1999, to remain in place so that I can get the help I need and get on with my life, in a clean and sober and productive way.

August 17

Just another boring day … Jim and I talked about opening a strip club when we get out.  Sounds interesting to me.  I’m glad I met Jim here.  We’re gonna get along alright when this is over.  I saw the list of inmate’s release dates today and mine is March 11.  I hope to hear from parole that it’s Dec. 6 but I got a bit of a scare when I saw that … I wrote to Barb last night.  Still thinking about writing to Jennifer ….

August 19

I moved over to the left unit today.  I like it here, it’s quiet.  There’s just me and Dennis G. here.  I had to move out of my cell in the centre unit because the toilet was broke.  It was really getting to stink in there … 

Louis B. was here to see me yesterday.  He thinks it’s likely that I won’t get out till March of next year.  I’ve asked for a panel hearing which will be held on September 8.  I figure that I have a better chance of trying to get out in December if I talk to them in person …

Winston was here to visit yesterday.  He and I and Jim are working on something which could be quite lucrative …

I wrote a letter to Jennifer yesterday.  Now I can only hope she writes back.  I didn’t tell her I’m in jail.  I’ll let her know in my next letter, if there is one, and I hope there is …  Jim went to court yesterday.  He thought he was getting sentenced, but it’s been put off till October …

My mother wasn’t in today.  I don’t know if that means she doesn’t know yet or she’s mad at me, but I don’t want to call home to find out.  Sooner or later they’ll be in and I’ll still be here.  For now, I’ll just focus on Sept. 8 and after that I’ll only have thirteen more weeks if things go my way.

August 20

This was supposed to be the day I finished the program and went home or to St. Eleanor’s House … but here I am in jail.  Thirteen weeks left if everything goes well.  It was probably worth coming back just to get things worked out with Jim.  We found out today that his friend in Quebec is a good friend of my friend [i.e dealer] in Montreal.  That’s good news for both of us.  We’re going to do well when we get out.  I look forward to it …

Time is going by well since I moved into the left unit.  Dennis and I have pretty much the same taste in television which is good because I hate watching movies …

Jamie gets out tomorrow.  I’d like to see her sometime after I get out.  I’m hoping that Jolene will be back here in September.  I was getting to know her good in Summerside … I wrote a letter to Bill B. in Summerside today to see if he’d let me go out on a T.A. [travel absence] to Holland College.  I’m doubtful but it doesn’t hurt to ask.  No doubt [Supervisor] will get in the middle and fuck it up even if Bill ok’s it.  I’m feeling confident, though, that I’ll be able to convince the parole board to let me out on Dec. 6 …

I think I’m going to re-write my letter to Jennifer again and tell her I’m in jail and beg her to visit me.  I’ve heard that honesty is the best policy.  I think it’s hard not to have low self-esteem in this situation though.  But I am a very likeable guy … if only I had been out for a few more weeks.

Draft letter, later revised and send to Jennifer, the girl he met at the Summerside bar

Dear Jennifer,

Hi! How are you?  How’s life? … You may or may not remember me.  I hope you do.  My name is Reg.  I was at Shakers last Wednesday, and the Thursday before that, having a few beer (Schooner) and talking to you, and I really enjoyed talking to you. You’re a very nice girl – nice personality, extremely cute and intelligent too.  Wowzers!  I would like to drop in and see you again but I can’t for a few months ….

Let me tell you a little about myself … let’s see …um … I used to live in Charlottetown, where, I owned and operated a wine and beer making supply store called Days of Wine and Beer.  It was a fairly successful business.  A few years ago, I opened a second store in Summerside.  This one was not so successful.  In fact, I had to close it after a year and was left with a debt of $30,000.  The large debt caused a strain on the Charlottetown store.  In an attempt to get out of debt I began selling drugs.  Unfortunately, I got caught and sentenced to 19 months in jail.  And I lost the business too.  And my wife left me.  A string of bad luck, you could say.

So I’ve been in jail for ten months now and I’ll be getting out in December (6th), possibly mid-October.  I was allowed out for a few weeks to take a program at the treatment centre in Summerside.  That’s when I met you. Of course, I wasn’t supposed to be in the bar drinking beer, but I like beer and I hadn’t had one in a long time, so I had to take a risk and sneak in for a few.  I enjoyed my two weeks in Summerside and especially enjoyed talking to you, as I said before.  Jail can be a very lonely place.  I don’t have many close friends and since I’m separated from my wife (permanently) I don’t get many visits.  I feel uncomfortable writing this letter to you.  I don’t want to sound desperate, but I was hoping that perhaps you would come and visit me.  Visiting days are very lonely days for me because most of the other guys get visits from their wives and girlfriends but I don’t have anybody to come and see me.

Woe is me [he has a sad face in the letter] I’m not your average jailbird.  I have a good education (university and college), I have a diploma in aircraft mechanics (electronics), in fact, I graduated with Honours, top of the class.  I don’t mean to brag, but hey … I’m a smart guy.  I suspect that I’ll be able to find work at the aerospace center in Slemon Park.

Oh well, perhaps you’re busy and I’ve taken enough of your time.  I’m sure you get asked out fairly often by guys in the bar, but I thought I’d take a chance and write to you.  I hope that I’ll hear back from you but if not, it really was nice meeting you.  See ya.  [happy face].

PS  I’ve enclosed a picture so you’ll remember what I look like.

August 11-15

No writing during this period.  As you will see on August 16, Reg has messed up.

August 16

I’m now back in Sleepy Hollow.  Last Wednesday I went to Shakers [Bar] after the program to see Jennifer and when I got back to [the rehab facility] they smelled beer off me and that was it for my parole.

I spent four hours in lockup.  The next morning Louis B. came and told me it was all over.  He says he’ll ask that I still be released on Dec. 6 but its’ up to the parole board.  I got high that day for the first time since I came to jail and I liked it.  It doesn’t really matter if I stay clean or not now.  I don’t think I’ll get back to the detox before I get out of jail.  So, I’m back in max, in Jim’s unit.  It’s good that I got to talk to him again cause we had some things to work out …

I was going to take Jolene out for the afternoon the day after I got busted but I blew that chance.  Now I’m thinking about writing to Jennifer and asking if she’ll visit but I’m not comfortable about telling her I’m in jail.  I’m not sure what to do.  I sure would like to see her.  It’s too bad I fucked up (again).  I was really getting to like her.

This place is very boring.  I don’t know if I can hack it here for three more months.  But I guess I don’t have much choice.  I might try and get down to Summerside jail but, well, I don’t know.  We’ll see.

I haven’t called home to tell them the news yet.  They’re not going to be impressed.  In the long run it’s better this way but I shouldn’t have fucked up that program.  Someday I’ll complete one of those things, maybe … At least I won’t have to go to aftercare when I get out, and I won’t have to give piss tests.  I’ll be free for the first time in two years.  Now if only I can get hooked up with Jennifer …

Letter faxed to Parole Board

Sirs:

After 10 days on day parole to the treatment center in Summerside, I find myself back in jail.  I’d like to explain the situation to you, if it matters.  After the program ended for the day on Wednesday, August 11, I went for a walk downtown.  I encountered a friend whom I had not seen for several years (and she knows nothing of my shady past).  She asked me to come into the bar with her for a drink.  Unfortunately, I agreed.

After having spent nine months in jail, I found the offer of female companionship too tempting to resist.  I was not prepared for this situation.  I made an impulsive decision which had severe repercussions.  I have two small children in Souris who I am anxious to see again, but because of this stupid mistake, it will be months before that happens (their mother and I separated while I was in jail, and she does not bring them to see me).  I feel bad that I let down my family, the other group members, the staff of the treatment center, and the members of the parole board, especially Brian Smith, who helped me to get released.  Again, I’ve messed up a good opportunity.  I had thought that my addiction problem was under control, but obviously that isn’t so.  I risked everything for a beer.  That isn’t very wise thinking and it’s the kind of thinking that I must …

Except for this brief incident, I have been clean and sober for nine months and I hope to remain so.  I did not use drugs at any time during the program or afterwards.  The fact that I didn’t use drugs after my discharge (and they were offered to me) indicates to me that I have made some progress.  I will continue to attend AA while in jail and hope to complete a program after my release and get some counselling regarding relapse prevention.  I have been in custody, in one form or another (detox, rehab, jail) since February 01, 1998.  I hope that you will allow my original release date of Dec. 6, 1999, to remain in place so that I can get the help I need and get on with my life, in a clean and sober and productive way.