December 27

Today, as it turned out was a holiday.  I wasn’t expecting this, but Boxing Day fell on a Sunday, so Monday was the holiday. I’m sick of the holidays – who needs a day off when you are in jail?  …

Mark and I both talked to Anne today and she promises (we’ve had that before) to come out on Thursday.  I desperately hope that comes to pass. …

Mark is still delaying his package, so I don’t know when we’ll see that.  This has been going on for a month now …

I confirmed that Jason did get some V’s [valium] on Saturday and didn’t share any, what a greedy bastard.  I’ll be glad when he goes back to medium.  Church was boring tonight.  I’d stop going for a while, but I’ve got nothing else to do.

December 28

I’ve got fourteen months in today, and 72 days to go.  Another monotonous day, it was.  Marks friend didn’t come to visit so it’s all or nothing on Friday.  And I won’t be surprised if it fucks up …

[Guard 3] brought in a couple of newspapers. That, I suppose, was the highlight of my day.  I’m trying not to nap too much but it’s just so fucking boring here.  I really appreciate it when one of the guards brings in a paper. Little Mikie had the Halifax paper, but he hasn’t let go of it all day.  I don’t know if I’ll get it tomorrow or not, must be a slow learner, that guy …

Mark and I expect to get out around the same time so I might be able to hook up with him in Montreal.  We were talking about that this evening.  We both think that Whips not going to get out.  Sorry but … it looks to me like he’s fucked.  Jason, I can’t wait till he goes to medium.  Won’t share his dope, fuck him.  I’ve got no use for him anymore … We’ve only got three days left of this year, this century, I regret missing that party.

December 29

More bullshit today.  This morning Sharkey and Bubba were after me to clean out my room.  I have a bunch of college calendars so I could choose a correspondence course, but they said I have to choose by Friday (31) and then put all my calendars in my personals.  I don’t think this is right, so I asked to meet with [Counselor] (she refused) and then Bubba.  It looks like the root cause is just [Guard1] being a prick, as usual. 

So, I’ve got my room cleaned up and I wait to see what they can find to bother me about next.  I’m getting really fed up and stressed out about this bullshit.  I expect now that they’ll want to move me to medium cause they know I like it here.  They’ll go to any length to fuck me around.  And I imagine it’ll get worse before it gets better.  I wish I was down to my last 3 weeks cause then it really wouldn’t matter where they put me, but getting fucked around for another 71 days doesn’t appeal to me …

I went to the gym tonight for the first time since March.  I played (and lost) 3 games of snooker with Neil. … I’m sort of expecting to get my room searched any day now, fucking bastards. They’re looking for any excuse to put me in the hole … tomorrow, I’m hoping to get a visit from Anne, which I hope will cheer me up.  Somethings got to change around here, it’s just getting too monotonous.

December 30

I’m really fed up and pissed off. Anne stood me up again.  I’ll have nothing more to do with that fucking bitch.  She ruined Christmas and New Years for me.  And Ian didn’t do much better.  I’m so tired of being let down. I just can’t take it anymore.  I’ll be so glad to get out of this fucking place. …

We might have some V’s [valium] tomorrow, but that’s not what I wanted. Fuck, fuck, fuck.  69 more days in this fucking place and if I’m not getting fucked around inside, I’m getting it outside too.  I may as well stop writing.  I have no pleasant thoughts this evening.

December 31, 1999

I stayed up (by myself) to watch the New Year’s celebrations on t.v.  But it’s no big deal for me.  I’m still in jail.  I was hoping we might have had a good time, but something fucked up with our pill delivery (I think Jason ripped us off).  We only got 8 Xanax instead of 80 and they went through Jasons hands first.  This situation completely ruined Christmas and New Years for me.  It was a very disappointing week.  I’m glad it’s behind us now. Now I can just focus on getting a T.A. for the Detox and/or just getting the fuck out of here …

Moe came in today.  Good to see him again.  He’s not in our unit, but it’s good to have him around just the same.  Too bad we couldn’t trade Jason for him.  I wish that prick would go to medium or just get the fuck out of our unit.  I don’t want anything to do with this greedy bastard anymore.  Well, 69 days left.  I hope January passes quickly.