November 15

This should be the last notebook I use in here as there are now only 115 days left or less if I win my appeal.  I wonder how long it will be before I get the results of that.  I’m not really expecting to win, but as Santa would say, there’s always hope.

… there was a cop here today to interview me about the complaint I made against the asshole in Montague who seized the Mazda.  Fucking prick.  I told him my side of the story so now I want to see what happens … George M. got moved to minimum.  He wasn’t very well liked around here.  I heard from George that he called the cops on Wade after he got the beating.  As Whip would say, what a goof.

There’s only 8 of us in max now.  It hasn’t been this quiet in a long time.  But we don’t seem to be getting much extra food in the kitchen anymore.  That used to be one of the good points of max.  I don’t know if [Guard1] had anything to do with that, but he sure fucked things up around here during his 3-month reign.  And it wasn’t just the inmates, but he was spying on the guards as well.  I think there were 6 guards who got transferred out of here after he left …

November 16

Not much going on today … [nurse1] got a new cart to push her pills around in.  She looked pretty pleased with it.  It’s too bad they wouldn’t buy us some books instead of wasting their money on this garbage. … She told me that my mother was calling and asking what kind of medication I’m on.  A couple of weeks ago she was calling to tell them I should see a psychiatrist.  This is getting annoying?  What does she want? …

Jimmy C. got some pills in this morning.  He got right out of it and didn’t share with us.  That too, pissed me off.  I don’t want to see somebody walking around stoned if they’re not going to offer me any … Jason and I are [making] some progress on our package.  Looks like I’m going to take the visit because Jason can’t get a special visit until he gives a clean urine test and he’s dirty … we played some Scrabble today and I stomped ‘em.  I’m unbeatable …

This morning I found some Pokemon cards in the cereal box.  I was amused by that – I didn’t expect something like that in here.  I’m going to mail them to [Pauline].  She’ll like them.  I’m going to have to write letters to all the kids and Zeke too.

November 17

Uh … hmmm .. I’ll be getting a visit from Heidi Saturday.  Should be interesting.  Mark’s friend is going to do some running around for us tomorrow.  Hope all goes well … Jolene says she might be getting an early release.  I wonder what that’s all about … it’s mighty cold outside lately.  I’ve been staying inside … tomorrow’s visiting day.  I suppose my mother will be in.  Must find out why she’s been calling the jail.

November 18

Brendon’s working tonight.  He’s such a fag …  I had two visits, I mean today:  my parents and Anne.  Anne showed up during mum and dad’s visit, but they don’t like her.  It was a bit awkward.  Mum and dad are leaving for San Francisco tomorrow for a couple of weeks.  Hope I have good news from my appeal when they get back …

Anne took care of what I wanted.  We’ve got a small package stashed in the visiting room (max) which I hope somebody can get for us tomorrow.  And everything looks to be coming together for Saturday’s visit.  All that left is for me to get the ok.  But that might involve the giant bitch so I’m not sure what will happen.  I’m looking forward to meeting this girl too.  … the new nurse here has apparently been telling Cindy (who told my mother) that I’m on too much medication.  I’ll have to mention that. …

November 19

Well, I’m stoned on Dialudid.  And I love it.  I’ve really missed this buzz.  Fuck sobriety, I want more.  We were able talk one of the staff into picking up the package for us from the max visitor washroom.  Cool, I’m very impressed …

… but unfortunately, things just don’t seem to be working out for us on the outside.  We’ve got four people working for us and they can’t all seem to get together.  I was looking forward to my special visit tomorrow, but it seems it will have to be delayed.  That is, if I can get it approved.  For that, I have to talk to Bubba tomorrow morning …

Jason and I split 3 D’s and gave one away (I think that was a good public (criminal?) relations move.  I hope he remembers when he gets out … we decided that I just don’t want to move to medium.  Unless, I have to in order to get a Christmas pass or treatment T.A. … I’m content in this unit here and we all get along well.  The days seem to be going by rather quickly (110 left now).  Soon, I’ll be on the front page of the remission sheet, yahoo ….

I had another run-in with [nurse] today.  I said to her, “I hear that the word around Hillsborough Hospital is that I’m taking way too much medication and that I’ll never make it when I get out”.  She just turned her head and started talking to someone else.  What a fucking bitch.  I hope her husband beats her tonight.  And then I said, “that’s a breach of confidentiality, isn’t it?”, so she snaps at me, “I don’t work at Hillsborough Hospital”.  What a stupid reply. 

I said, “Well aren’t you the head nurse here?”  Then she said, “I don’t want to talk about this right now, go sit in the phone room and wait for me”, but as soon as she finished giving out the pills, she says, “I’m late for a meeting.  I’ll talk to you later”.  That was enough shit for me, so I asked to call the Nurses Association to make a complaint.  Of course, they stalled, [Counselor] said I wasn’t allowed to call, but I got Sput to ask [Supervisor], the arsehole, and he allowed me to make the call.  I called and gave them the basic details, and I was told that the nurse in charge of discipline will call me on Monday.  I’m hoping that someone will get fired over this and that I cause much grief for that sick old cunt [nurse].

She came back to talk to me this afternoon and went on like she had no idea what I was talking about either.  What this other nurse did didn’t bother her at all – she was only interested in covering her own wrinkly old ass.  Fuck, I hate her so much.  When she was giving out the meds this afternoon, I asked her if she realized that the meds were supposed to be given out right after lunch and not at 2:05.  She said she was busy making phone calls (more lies designed to absolve her of blame, no doubt).  She needs to get it through her stupid ugly old hag head that the inmates well-being comes first.  Hopefully, I can straighten that out with the Association (and she’s fucking around with Jimmy C. meds again trying to have him cut off.  I hope he goes off and beats the hell out of her).  I’m going to ask the Nurses Association if they would send someone out to talk to the inmates …

Jason beat me at Scrabble today.  I was kinda glad to see him win because I almost always win … Sandy didn’t come to see me today.  I’m a little disappointed at that, as I was wanting to get started on the IQ tests.  I’d like to know how smart I really am.  Obviously, I’m much more intelligent than those that are running this place … I’ve decided to give up on getting any help here at learning French.  I’ve only been able to get to the library once in the past [week].  I can’t get any learning done like that.  I’ll just have to work on it with Mark.

Someday my story will get to the general public.  Anyway, tonight I’m going to stay up late and enjoy the buzz.  And I’ll cross my fingers and toes that everything falls into place tomorrow.  There’s always hope, as Santa would say …

November 20

Bubba wouldn’t let me have my visit.  That’s disappointing.  Not just because I won’t get a package, but I was looking forward to meeting Heidi.  Oh well.  I think the problem is that the guards don’t want to get involved with me because they’re scared that if they fuck up, I’ll expose them.  So, Reggie’s requests get turned down.  Be careful with Reggie, already, the news is all through the building that I called the Nurses Association.  Oh how I hate that fucking bitch.

… anyway, all of our well laid plans seem to be falling apart.  But it may all work out through the visits tomorrow.  There’s always hope … I felt weird today, I guess because of the D’s yesterday.  I get the feeling that I will have to be extra careful around pills because it would be real easy for me to get addicted again.  Approach with caution.

I slept most of the day and I’m still tired.  I’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep … one thing I’ve discovered while being here is that I like Blue Rodeo.  I must pick up some CD’s when I get outta here.  I have much catching up to do … I hope to finish War & Peace tomorrow. There’s only 100 pages left and I’m really tired of it.  Also, I have a few good books just lying around waiting to be read.