When I first reread this entry while rebuilding the website, I honestly couldn’t remember whether I had gone to see Reggie. I knew how difficult I had found visiting my brother in jail, and I was scared to turn the page. Reggie was waiting for me to come. I was afraid I was about to discover that I had let him down.

July 23

Mike got home today.  I wish I was out so he wouldn’t have to come see me in here.  But it’s not to be …. We’ve been out walking every day for the past week, but I seem to be getting fatter.  I’d like to lose ten or fifteen pounds.  I’m 186 now and I’m scared I won’t be able to fit into my jeans.  I must try harder to lose weight.  Must stop eating junk food ….

Dennis got caught sending a note to the girls and lost four good days, a fairly stiff punishment, I’d say.  There is no standard punishment it seems.  They just make up policy as they go along, figuring out how they can fuck around with our heads …

I’ve been thinking that I might move to Moncton for the winter.  It’s not too far from home and I could take over some of Jim’s business.  I’m not confident that I’d last very long on the island.  There’s now just nine days left maybe less till I go to Summerside.  I’m trying to take it one day at a time and done with it.  When I first applied for it, I never thought that it would be this late in coming …

July 25

And another weekend has come to an end.  They seem to go by quickly.  I guess because of all the time we got outside.  Larry, Dennis and Gene got sent to the hole, caught smoking hash.  I’m not sure if they will be coming back here or to max.  Will find out tomorrow …

I’ve been watching Woodstock on tv all weekend.  Today, I saw a girl I met in Guelph, Shannon, in the audience.  Wish I was there, too. The concert in Shediac is also going on this weekend.  Wonder who went from Souris.

Mike got home Friday.  I thought he’d be in to visit today, but he wasn’t.  Surely, he’ll be in Thursday … I spoke at the AA Meeting tonight.  I went on for 45 minutes, but they all seemed to enjoy it.  I did sort of want to speak sometime and tonight I did it. I wasn’t even really nervous.  I used to be a much more nervous guy than I am, and I had a good talk with John afterwards.  I hope that some of the guys did get something interesting out of my story.  John tells me that he did, so that’s good.  Anyway, tomorrow, I start my last week in this place.

July 26

Was a rainy day.  We didn’t get outside this afternoon.  I decided to start a diet today ‘cause I’m fat.  I had 3 pancakes for breakfast ‘cause I like pancakes but just a piece of pie for lunch and a piece of cake for supper.  If I keep this up for a week and walk around the track every evening I should lose some weight.  Or else I may not fit into my pants when I leave.  I’m trying not to think too much about getting out, just taking it one day at a time.  But it’s only 6 more days and this time it’s for real. 

Larry is also getting move to Summerside this week.  It should be alright up there.  Jimmy and I got things set up in church tonight.  It’s looking good.  He’s going to Springhill next week for five years, but he expects to be out in eleven months.  The girls were in church tonight too.  I wouldn’t mind hooking up with one of them when they get out.  They all seem to like me.  I’m an adorable guy …

John told me today that they held the last unit rep without max, me, being there.  Bastards.  They’ll be wishing they hadn’t fucked around with me so much after I get to the papers.  John is pissed off that they don’t give us enough time to talk after the meetings.  He has a good point. They just don’t seem to have a clue about rehabilitation around here.  If I had gotten to Summerside a few weeks ago, I probably would have gotten out see Mike ….

I gave Wayne a call to tell him I’m getting out.  I look forward to hanging out with him again.  He wants to go to a wedding in Hamilton in August.  I told him I would drive him up, if possible, if I can get my car going and get permission from parole.  That would be a much needed adventure.

July 27

Finally had my meeting with [Supervisor] and Kevin.  It was a total waste of time.  Kevin lied and what I said didn’t matter.  It was a farce, as I expected.  I just wanted the opportunity to piss Kevin off. He’s a suck up asshole …

I almost got into a fight with Wayne M. this morning.  I took the five thirty phone slot yesterday and he thinks that only he can have that spot.  I gave him a shove and told him off.  But I think we’re ok now.  He was talking pleasantly to me after supper.  But it seems he’s been jealous ever since I got my parole.  I earned it ….

I walked three miles this evening.  I really want to get rid of all this fat before I go home …  I’m not sure when I’m going to Summerside.  I thought it was Sunday, but it may be sooner.  I hope to find out tomorrow. 

[Terrence] is in the hole for yelling at Gordie and Steve moved to the center unit, so its quieter in here.  I like it this way, with only four of us here.  We all played a couple of games of scrabble this evening, I won. 

Reuben got out today.  I don’t think it will be long before he gets busted again.  I just hope Jimmy has enough sense to break things off with him. So anyway we only got five days left here now, only fifteen more meals.

July 28

I was in a bit of a panic this morning.  They told me at eleven that I was going to Summerside in an hour.  I wasn’t expecting that and wasn’t ready to go because Mike should be here tomorrow.  It seemed like they were anxious to get rid of me ….

Louis Burke was here with my parole papers.  It seems that I have to go back to jail at five o’clock and stay there all weekend.  This is disappointing.  But there’s a possibility that I may be able to cancel my parole in Oct., no parole, no strings attached.  It would be great if I can pull that off.  Manipulation at its finest ….

I was at my last AA Meeting tonight.  There was some guys from the Souris area in.  Leroy was there for the second time in a week.  He seems like a pretty good guy. 

Charlene is out Friday.  I’m going to give her a call after I get out.  I was hoping to talk to Sherry after the meeting, but I got tied up.  She’s a very pretty guard and I think maybe she likes me, finds me adorable.  But it wasn’t meant to be, I guess.  I’ve now only got four days left, four more sleeps, twelve more meals.

July 29

Mike was here today.  I would have liked to see him in a different setting, but I have no choice in that.  It was good to see him anyway …. 

I got strip searched again by Brendon the fag again.  That’s really pissing me off.  Last week I put in a complaint that I was uncomfortable being strip searched by a homosexual guard.  I hear he was pretty upset by that, but his searches are slightly less thorough now, although still unnecessary.  I’ll try and straighten that out through the media soon …

Jody got sentenced to thirteen months today.  It’s too bad ‘cause she’s a nice girl.  Such a waste of her life.  It’s too bad she got involved with George.  Charlene is out tomorrow.  Adam got 3 ½ years today for his armed robbery, possible that there will be further charges over Jessie’s death.  She was well liked around here too.

I suggested to John that we go to Cuba when we get out.  He’s keen on that idea.  I’m sure we’d have a blast down there.  John and some of the other guys I’ve met in here have had a positive effect on my life.  It’s for that reason that I don’t regret coming here.  If I had no family outside I would not mind staying here to finish my sentence, its only four more months.  Right now, it’s only 3 days till I go to Summerside.