Although Reg had violated the terms of his conditional sentence by taking drugs, and was now in jail, he was still eligible to apply for Day Parole, after 100 days of good behavior (or so they thought). 

November 25 (Day 29)

Things didn’t go well for me today. That is why I’m still here writing this (I got a pen from Moe, at least I’m in good company) at breakfast. They took me to court and told me I wasn’t going today. So, I called my lawyer and I did have to be there. The staff here fucked up. So, they got me to court on time anyway (actually, if I had shut my mouth, I could possibly have gotten this thing thrown out as it had to be heard within 30 days and today is the 29th day). The prosecutor (that prick) presented his argument (that I should be locked up) and then we presented outs and I made a statement myself which apparently didn’t help cause the judge revoked my conditional sentences and now I’m serving two years less a day. My mother and father were there. My mother didn’t take it that well. [my wife] didn’t even show up as I expected (I took her off my visitors list today). I think her problem (my problem) in court was that we didn’t give the judge a case similar to mine to go by. I mean one where someone on a conditional sentence breached it and was given a short jail sentence plus completion of their conditional sentence. But it’s too late for that. I’m fucked now.

So, we put in an application for parole. I could be out of here in 2 ½ months on parole to the Talbot House if things work out ok. Although I never wanted to be a parolee. But then who does? If I stayed in here and completed my sentence, I would be out in 11 months, no strings attached. But I couldn’t hack it that long (new pen). So, it looks like parole is the way to go. I’ll get more details on that tomorrow. The worst part of it is that there is no good time on parole so it will be until my birthday, June 25, in the year 2000. that’s a long time in which I will have to behave myself or at least avoid getting caught. I hope it doesn’t cause problems when I try to get a job. I might go back to selling drugs when this is all over if it does interfere with employment. I guess one way or another things will work out. I could probably sell drugs again because now that I’ve been in jail I have no fear of it anymore. Maybe this is not the place that they should have put me. But I guess the court believed that treatment is hopeless for me so here I am, sitting in my cell writing notes. I think that maybe the best thing that I can do with my time is to write (or work on writing) the book that I’ve always wanted to write. I think my life is an interesting story that needs to be told. I certainly have the time to work on it now. I only hope that I can find the motivation ….

November 26 (Day 30)

Well, I’m a long timer now, doing my bit here in max. but it really doesn’t feel any different. Plus ca la meine chose. Oui oui oui. Today was a day much like the others before it except this morning I filled out papers for parole and also found out my release date which is Dec. 4, 1999, that is if I stay in and serve my full sentence (with good time taken off). The only benefit to that is that when I got out there would be no probation or parole or any of that shit. It would be over and done with. Vinni viddi vicci (I came, I saw, I conquered). But if I apply for parole I can get out on day parole on Jan. 25 (or thereabouts. That is a date I calculated myself. I’ll get the official eligibility date soon). In that case I believe that I would have to reside in a place such as Talbot House. Also, I would be on parole till the end of my full sentence which expires on June 25, 2000, my 34th birthday (quite a birthday gift. I think I would get extremely inebriated). Being on parole would be a big pain in the arse and also somewhat of a stigma. But how much time in here can I handle. I’ll have to make a final decision later. Hmmm …

We have a new guy in our unit, Jerry, who seems to be alright. He likes to joke around a bit which is good and tonight he rolled the rest of my tobacco for me which is even better (he was bored). Andre is going to trial tomorrow. It’s his second day of trial and he seems fairly confident that he will win. One way or the other, when he leaves here tomorrow, we won’t be seeing him again. It’ll be different not having him around. I’ve come to enjoy his company and I especially like getting him ‘’riled up”, aggravated, but in a playful way. If he gets convicted, he’ll be going to the pen (across the puddle) and if he doesn’t, he’ll be going back to Toronto. I have his number, so I hope to get in touch with him sometime in the future.

I had no visitors today, but I did get a receipt for 40 bucks that jean dropped off. I don’t know if she asked to see me (probably not) but she’s off my visitors list cuz I’m kinda pissed off at her. Maybe someday we’ll straighten things out but right now I don’t care whether I see her for a while. She’s told me she wouldn’t bring the kids in to see me anyway.

Jennifer is working tonight, bringing me pills like a good nurse should. I’d like to interview her sometime for the book I hope to write. I’m going to get started on that soon. At least I can make an outline and get an idea of whether or not I have enough subject matter to fill a book. I imagine that I can do it if I really want to.

I spoke with the teacher here about using their computers. It is possible although I won’t have much access from max. I would move to medium for more access but I’m comfortable here now with the guys in here so for now, I have no plans of moving. Stay tuned for more details.

November 27 (Day 31)

So, what happened today? Well, I tried to get some more pills out of the nurse for ‘anxiety’, actually so I can sleep more. I’d sleep straight through till spring if it was possible. But she wouldn’t give me anything. She says I should find something to do here in max, but she thinks I should move to medium. From there I would have more access to the library and computer room. I could also help the teacher they have since I am fairly well educated. Charity work; something I never considered before. Hmmmm. It’s a possibility.

But I kinda like it where I am here. Because the guys are easy to get along with, sorta fun to be around. I’d like to stay here for another month or so anyway. I’m thinking about changing my schedule so that I stay up all night reading and writing and sleep during the day. That would suit me fine. It would be nice if I could get some kind of writing table in here. I’ll have to ask about that and presumably get turned down.

Andre beat the rap today. He’s a free man. I haven’t heard any details but he’s at Doug house for a couple of days before he goes back to Toronto. I hope we meet again sometime in a different setting.

Jennifer came with pills tonight. I asked her if I could borrow some psychology books to keep myself busy. I’m interested in sociology too. I must find a way to get some books in here. There must be a way. There must be. That’s a short term goal I’ll set for myself.

So, I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that I’m going to be here for a while. I’ll just have to make the best of it. Hopefully I can get a start on the book idea I’ve had for a while.