November 1

I was just listening to Burton Cummings and Randy Bachman on TV.  It was fucking great.  Everything went well today.  My mother called today and said that she was talking to Paul M. and he confirmed that he will accept me for another program.  So, using that information I wrote a four page letter to the Parole Board explaining why I think their decision is unfair.  I think it’s a really good letter and may help to get me out sooner, maybe even in December.  At least I’ve got something to focus on …

Jolene was in church.  She still loves me.  And she was looking good tonight.  She is a pretty girl.  I can’t wait to get her alone.

… Jim got remanded again in court today, for a week.  The prosecutor is now asking for 9 ½ years, quite a stretch. I don’t think he’ll get that much but I don’t think he’ll get off as easy as he expected either.  It’s some serious charges he’s up on.  I don’t think he realizes how serious.

James got sent to medium today so for a while it was just me and Jason.  I kinda liked it that way but then Jim came back, and tomorrow Marc and Lorrie want to move over.  Things are constantly changing.  I won’t mind having them in here.  It might help for when I get out …

Jason seems pretty down lately.  I thought he might be on valium, but now I think it’s depression, probably cause he fucked up on his chances for parole.  I hope he snaps out of it.  It’s a hard way to do time like that.  Myself, I haven’t wasted any time feeling sorry for myself.  I try to take things easy.  Someday this will all be behind me and everything will be alright.

November 2

I got my appeal all ready. Added a few more paragraphs too for the coup de grace or whatever.  I’m feeling pretty good about it.  It just might get me out in December …

I got pissed off at Jim today.  He doesn’t like Burton Cummings so he didn’t think I should watch it either.  I did watch it but he put me in a bad mood so I didn’t enjoy it as much as I should have.  I’m getting sick of Jim, always whining about how long he’s been here.  I’ve been here twice as long and I’m not whining about it.  And I can’t tell him anything.  He runs out of money and he calls Dave, expecting that arsehole to drop off $300 bucks.  Of course, Dave doesn’t show up and then he calls Rubin.  Of course he’s broke too.  He’s a total fuck-up. I can’t understand how he doesn’t see this.  He’s got a lot to learn yet. …

We had meatloaf for supper and it was pure fucking garbage.  I dream of Kentucky Fried.  Jai reve de poulet fried de Kentucky.  We finished the second batch of French tapes and now I’m waiting for the next one. … one of the guards just came in and took Jason’s chair.  The same guy did the same thing last night.  Weird …

Draft of Appeal Letter:

I would like to appeal the decision to revoke my parole which was rendered on September 8, 1999.  There are several reasons for this appeal:

I was told by my Parole Office, Louis B., that I should not present another treatment option at my hearing (see page 2 of “Assessment for Decision”).  I understood that what was to be decided was whether my parole would be revoked or terminated (as I had hoped).

However, at the hearing on Sept. 8, I learned that treatment was still an option.  I feel that I was not given the opportunity to properly prepare for this hearing.  I had been told by Paul M. at Prince County Addictions that I would be accepted from another program.  I could have had a written statement from Mr. MacKenzie to present at my hearing had I known that this option would be considered.  (On Monday, Nov. 1, Mr. MacKenzie again confirmed with my mother that he would accept me for a program, although the Half-way house in Summerside is closed to any and all parolees).

It is stated in the “Assessment for Decision” that there is a linkage between my use of illicit drugs and criminal activity.  I agree with this statement.  However, I did not consume any illicit drugs.  I did drink two beers.  I realize that I should not have been drinking, however, I don’t feel that it is fair to make the assumption that my consumption of alcohol would lead directly to the use of cocaine or heroin and then to criminal activity.  This, I feel, is a stretch of the imagination. 

What is proven though is that after 20 years of drug abuse, I began to get treatment on February 1, 1998.  Since that time, I have been free of drugs or alcohol with the exception of this incident and one other in October of 1998.  At that time, I consumed a small amount of phenobarbitol, which is a drug used in treatment centers to reduce craving.  It is not a street drug and does not, in my opinion, to my knowledge, produce a “high”.  Because phenobarbitol is a prescription drug and it was not prescribed to me, I was discharged from Talbot House, and as a result, my conditional sentence was revoked. 

I don’t mean to downplay these incidents but I have learned that a relapse can be turned into a positive thing if the knowledge gained from that relapse is used to prevent another.  I feel that I have made significant progress since entering into treatment and it frustrates me that  even though I have made many positive changes in my life, the mistakes I have made seem (in the eyes of the law) to outweigh what I have done right. 

Addiction is not an easy disease to overcome.  It is a constant battle but I feel that I have made many good decisions in the past 2 years.  My family is still supportive and, I believe, agrees with me that being warehoused in Sleepy Hollow is not the answer.  I have been here for more than twelve months.  All my urine tests have been negative.  I have been involved in AA here and have even chaired some meetings.  There is very little treatment available here.  I fail to understand how the decision to revoke my parole with a further three months incarceration does anything to deal with my addiction.

In the NPB [National Parole Board] Post Release Decision Sheet it states that “substance abuse remains an untreated risk factor”.  It seems illogical that, although treatment is needed and available, I would be denied access to it.  It also states that “it is unfortunate that a treatment option was not advanced for consideration”.  As I said before, a treatment option was available.  But I was not told beforehand that I would have the option to present an alternative plan.

In conclusion, I feel that there is enough information to justify a review of the decision to revoke the parole.  What I would like to see is that my remission be recredited as an opportunity given to attend a program at Prince County Addictions .

Sincerely,

R. MacDonald