reg's jail journals ... Sleepy Hollow Correctional Centre
Day 28 (November 23)
I really fucking hope that this is my last day here. It’s not that things are that bad in here but there’s so much I could be doing on the outside.
Leonard came out to see me today, unexpectedly. He suggested that I use my parents house as an address to present to the court and use the services of Souris Detox. I didn’t really want to go to Souris (or not be sentenced to live there) but it seems to be the most feasible option at this point. From there I could work on getting back to Charlottetown or even farther. Leonard is a wise man and always seems to have something useful to say. It’s funny how he showed up today with a solution. He also helped me figure out what to say before I went to court in May. Everything happens for a reason, as Leonard would say.
Brenda finally called this afternoon. I was going to rake her about not putting enough time into this but what good would that do me now. She actually has things worked out well, although she is going to have another lawyer represent me since she has another trial in Souris. She talked to Freddie and he had a lot of good things to say (thanks Freddie). He didn’t give her a letter for the judge as I had hoped but what he told her was all good.
She also got a call from Martin Dorrell. I was very pleased to hear that. I had been a bit embarrassed about the letter I sent him cuz I thought it might have sounded like I was begging. But it all went well.
Today everything just seemed to fall into place.
Draft letter to the court:
Your honor, when I stood before you in June of this year, it was for an offence involving the sale of drugs. I have not returned to this activity and I have no intention of ever doing so.
The reason I am here today is that I have had a slip, a momentary lapse of reason. I took a pill which was not prescribed to me. I realize that I was wrong to do so and that it could have been prevented, unfortunately, that did not happen. I was aware that there would be consequences to such behavior, but at that moment none of that mattered. I was able to justify in my own mind, the need for that pill, despite all the negative consequences for myself and my family. This shows me how powerful this disease is. I will have to be on guard against it for the rest of my life.
I have had some problems in treatment but I believe that my intentions are good, even though sometimes my behavior indicated otherwise. I have been using drugs for 20 years and adjusting to life without them has been difficult for me. I have been in treatment for 10 months now and I have used drugs on 2 occasions. But there have also been about 300 days where I did not use. This is the longest period of sobriety I’ve ever had in my life and it is those 300 days that draw inspiration from to continue this new way of life. I am not yet and never will be cured but I feel that I am making progress.
I take responsibility for my actions. I do not expect to be excused for what I’ve done. I hope that I can be judged for what I’ve done right as well, of course, for what I’ve done wrong.
With the support of my family, addiction services, and hopefully the court, I will continue to progress in living a life without drugs.
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