mereggie stories

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reg's jail journals ... Sleepy Hollow Correctional Centre

Day 27 (November 22)

Today I’m preparing for my appearance in court.  I’ve written some draft copies of a speech to the judge.  Tomorrow I will sort through them and combine the best passages.  Words are powerful things.  They can be combined in so many different ways to elicit whatever feeling you desire in audience:  anger, pity, understanding, humor, etc.  I will arrange my words so as to make the judge see  things my way hopefully.

I just had a conversation with one of the guys on how to get fake identification.  Interestingly, this information would have been useful to me earlier in my life when I was a criminal.  Now I’m just a good guy, mildly criminal.  No outlaw me.

Everybody here seems to think I will be set loose on Wednesday and I hope their feelings are correct.  Me would likee that.  It would be such a waste of my life to spend a year in here.  I do have something to offer society.  I am rehabilitated ok.

I called home tonight and spoke to my father.  He didn’t have a whole lot of negative things to say which was new for a change.  But he was talking to Pat, who told him that Dr. Jones, apparently, is not going to get involved.  That’s disappointing.  I guess I’m on my own.  These are my circumstances and I must accept them, even if it means I have to spend a year in this dump.  But I really hope that doesn’t happen.

So anyway now I go to bed and tomorrow I wake up to what should be my last day here.  Assuming all goes well.  Hmmm.

Draft letter and passages to the court:

Attention is focused on mistakes I made rather than progress I’ve made.  Yes, I did use drugs on 2 occasions in the past 10 months but there are also 300 other days when I didn’t use drugs.  It’s those 300 days that I will draw inspiration from to continue a sober lifestyle.  This is the longest period of sobriety I’ve had in the past 20 years and I am determined to continue on this path.

I don’t expect to be excused for my action but I hope I can be judged for what I’ve done right as well as, of course, for what I’ve done wrong.  I am aware that my behavior has had consequences not only for myself but also for those around me, especially my family.

… I’ve been using drugs for 20 years and I never expected to be cured in … 

… I now realize that what I did was wrong and I see that it could (easily) have been prevented.

Learn a new way of living

I’ve made (I have) many friends through treatment and I have a good relationship with addiction services.  This is what will help me to remain sober.

I have had some difficulties in treatment.  I feel that this is due to the fact that I’ve been ordered to seek treatment and so my motivation is always in question, unfortunately.  But I firmly believe that my intentions are good.

Day 28, November 23, 1998.